China Concerned About Divorce Rate

The authorities in China have started sending “think again” letters to couples who apply for a divorce. This in response to the 21% increase in the divorce rate there from 2003 to 2004. Here’s the story about this new development from The Guardian.

I wish them luck, but I won’t hold my breath. In my practice, I have encountered thousands of couples who are ready to divorce. By the time they get to my office — and this is at least several days before they “apply” (file) to divorce — they’ve been through hell and back. Not once, not once in all those cases, have I had a couple decide not to divorce because somebody tried to talk them out of it.

I have had a handful of couples — perhaps 8 out of 3,000 — take advantage of Alabama’s required 30 day waiting period and dismiss their divorce case before the judge signs the decree. To my knowledge, however, all of those decisions came because the husband and the wife sat down together and agreed to give their marriage another try, not because they got pressure from someone else.

One comment

  1. Chip Venie says:

    March 3, 2005

    JUDGE RULES, MOM “TOO PREGNANT” TO KEEP KIDS

    SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA: When a divorced mother, with a live-in nanny and fiancé, becomes too pregnant to drive, she will lose her right to any visitation with her children. That is what Family Court Judge Patricia Garcia ruled yesterday, in a hotly contested child custody matter in Chula Vista.

    Judge Garcia ruled that a young mother, Cynthia Venie, who is again pregnant with her fourth child, is the only person allowed to pick up her two daughters from their father’s home every other week. When it was explained to Judge Garcia that Ms. Venie had difficulty in the past with her pregnancies and that she might not be able to drive herself, the Judge ordered that she would lose her right to spend time with her two daughters from her first marriage.

    “I was shocked by this order from the Court,” said Ms. Venie’s attorney, Jon M. Pettis, “It seems to suggest that because she is pregnant, she should have fewer rights as a parent. That is outrageous and discriminatory. The Court knows Ms. Venie has responsible adults in her home to assist her in caring for the children. The Court also has been informed that the father chooses to leave the children at homes where a convicted drug dealer and documented gang member lives and another, where a mother has been accused of failing to protect her own children from many years of sexual abuse.”

    This was in the wake of earlier hearings where evidence was presented to the same Judge accusing Ms. Venie’s ex-husband, Noel Alfsen of sending nearly 20 threatening e-mail messages to Ms. Venie’s fiancé. In one of the emails, Mr. Alfsen allegedly threatened to “Laci Petersen” his former wife and her unborn child.” However, despite extensive testimony and evidence from Mr. Alfsen’s on-line provider showing he was using his e-mail at or near the time of all the messages, Judge Garcia refused to accept the e-mails into evidence and denied a request for a restraining order protecting Ms. Venie or her children.

    “I’ll keep going to pick up my daughters as long as I can,” cried Ms. Venie. “It’s because I want to see them and raise them, but also, because I am also terrified about what can be happening to them when they are not with me. I just hope this doesn’t hurt the baby inside me.”

    Judge Patricia Garcia: San Diego Superior Court, So. Bay, Dept. 8: (619) 691-4545
    Mr. James Albert: (619) 440-7070, Attorney for Mr. Alfsen
    Mr. Noel Alfsen: (619) 656-9549, Petitioner
    Mr. Chip Venie: (619) 235-8300, Attorney / Respondent’s Fiancé

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