Florida Alimony Bill – Cohabitation

Florida is considering changing its statute on alimony to stop payments if the recipient is cohabitating with a person of the opposite sex. The bill passed in a House committee yesterday and goes now to the full House. Here’s an article about it in the Daytona Beach News-Journal.

Support for the legislation is breaking down along gender lines, with most men (who are overwhelmingly the payers of alimony) favoring it, and most women (who are overwhelmingly the receivers of alimony) opposing it.

The bill would change Florida law on alimony to resemble that of my home state of Alabama, where cohabitation with a person of the opposite sex automatically puts a stop to alimony. The problem for alimony payers is proving cohabitation.

Our courts in Alabama have said that it takes more than showing a sexual relationship, and it takes more than showing someone has spent the night. Instead, the proof must establish a residential pattern. Typically, that involves proving that the person received mail at the residence, stored clothing there, ate meals there habitually, parked his or her vehicle there, and generally spent leisure time there. And of course, anyone who wants to prove this must gather and preserve all the necessary evidence before filing anything, because filing to stop alimony on the grounds of cohabitation is the quickest, surest way to end cohabitation.

Think of it as a marital investigators’ full employment bill.

44 comments

  1. My wife left me, moved to Florida, and is trying everything to avoid AZ divorce law, and postpone the divorce till the value of our home goes up. I want to buy her out, and expedite the divorce, and get permanent spousal support (after a “short term” 6 year marriage), any advice?

  2. Dr. Ron Lewert says:

    i am a physician in coral springs, florida; paying my ex-wife over $9000. per month alimony/child support for the past 4 years. she is engaged and living with her fiance’ of 1+ years in the 5 bedroom house she got from the divorce. her fiance’ owns his own company and provides well for the both of them….she openly admits this along with her intention of holding off on the marriage until alimony is fully paid in another year and a half. they travel weekends to naples to visit their new condo on the beach. i do not believe alimony law was intended to be abused or skirted like this, rather it was intended to allow women to get back on their own two feet…….not fund their own private little retirement.
    my ex-wife has a bachelor’s degree in education and used to teach, but since has let her certificate expire.
    i urge both hard working men and women to support SB 152 so that a stop can be put to this abuse of the law…cohabitation, special relationships of this type, etc. send the wrong message to our kids that divorce is the way to go if you want to “cash in”. For those who oppose the proposed change it’s time you begin to take care of yourselves…grow up and get a job like the rest of us! the party has lasted long enough!

  3. Just stupid says:

    I agreed to pay my ex $1200.00 a month on alimony and $815.00 a month on child support. At the time of our divorce I was working 3 jobs so I could give my son a great high school graduation and thanks God I was able to. I quit claim the house I bought to her and and sold another house and gave her all the profits from the sale. I only took my clothes with me. She used the money I gave her on on a Boob job and tummy tuck surgery
    After a year of our divorce she moved her boyfriend with her and they lasted over 2 years until he got tired of her due to asking him for money. Also, she was using the alimony money to party and take trips. She left my kids without a home. The house worth now about 300.000 was forclosed. She completely damage my credit. I have been unable to pay her any alimony since May 2004. My job siuation changed and I had to borrowed money from friend and living on my credit cards since then. In the mean time I was trying to help my daughter on getting a better education. Now I might have to go to JAIL because she is suing me for the alimony I owl her. She is a selfish individual who only thinks about herself. She does not even care about our kids. She even told my daughter that “she was the worse mistake of her live. The alimony law has to changed so we FATHERS also have a chance to have a future so we can also help our own kids. I was never late on child support or alimony until my economical circunstances changed.WE NEED TO CHANGED THE LAW FOR OUR OWN GOOD. Now I understand those individuals who have killed themselves due to poor judgement of the part of the courts.

  4. Kevin says:

    For everyone living in Florida, word on the street is that Governor
    Bush signed Senate Bill 152 which allows a Judge to reduce or
    terminate alimony if the obligee is cohabitating with someone.

    For details, see S0152ER web page at:

    http://www.flsenate.gov/session/index.cfm?
    BI_Mode=ViewBillInfo&Mode=Bills&SubMenu=1&Year=2005&billnum=152

  5. Chris says:

    My ex wife divorced me in 2000 and was awarded permanant alimony of $1,500 per month. She has been involved with one man pretty much since the divorce. He is and has lived in her house (the one I paid off) for about two of the last three years. I was looking on the Palm Beach County Property appraisers site the other night and discovered that she purchased her mothers condo for $150,000 in April of this year. The disturbing thing for me is that I have to pay alimony while she is out buying investment property and does not even hold a part time job. She is a licensed beautician. Frustrated in FLorida.

  6. tom says:

    This Law is a joke, I contacted 2 lawyers and was told that no judge is upholding this. ONLY after some reach the appeals court and are over turned there will local JUDGES??? uphold the law.
    Thanks for trying anyway, Gov. Bush….
    Tom

  7. Mary says:

    I feel that if a preneptual is agreed to and the court agrees, after all the attorney fees involved, and there is a statement in the preneptual that the alimony will continue until either remarriage or death, that if one cohabitates it cannot stop the alimony since is was not agreed to in the prenep. Also, because a person cohabitates does not mean they will get married. This is an unfair law, only taking more away from the woman.

  8. Ramona says:

    I certainly hope this law isn’t a joke. A friend of mine is paying a fortune in alimony while his ex lives with and had a child by another man. It’s unfortunate that spouses are stuck like this in the state of Florida. In most states they would be considered man and wife (even without having a child) after 6 months of living together.

  9. Wrong says:

    In most states they WOULD NOT be considered man and wife after 6 months. In fact only a few states (8 I think) reconize common law marriages. You really should not post incorrect information as if it is fact.

  10. Ed says:

    I have to laugh at Mary’s comments- she sounds like so many women who simply want free money from an ex even if they don’t need it and are likewise receiving financial support for a live-in. Mary, wouldn’t you consider it servitude to pay out money to a man who didn’t really need it – especially if he was living with a woman who was working full time and earning a reasonable living? Don’t women have any pride?

  11. Jon says:

    My ex started living with her boyfriend the day after the divorce. I have to pay a huge alimony – almost 60% of my income – to support her for 18 months – and I’m feeling a huge pinch financially. My ex filed for divorce – and it seems to me I have to pay everything to enable her to live her dream. Obviously she’s sitting on easy street – raking in the profits, and I’m paying for it. So – I’m glad this law is in – I’ll be gathering evidence for as long as possible to ensure that her alimony stops.

  12. Hello everyone,

    My name is Hector Torres and I’ve been paying alimony in Florida since 2001 so I know your pain and suffering. On March 19th, 2008, I and others spoke in front of a Florida Senate committee to express our outrage at the Alimony laws here in Florida and we requested to eliminate “permanent” alimony and to put a 3 year limit to alimony payments, such as is the case in other states like Texas.

    The result was following article printed in the Miami Herald which shows that if you speak out, you will be heard:

    http://www.miamiherald.com/news/florida/story/463226.html

    Here’s how you can help put an end to Alimony:
    1) Write letters to all your Senators and Representatives – I can provide you with samples
    2) Get involved physically – Speak out in front of all Senate and House hearings on the issue
    3) join groups that are already fighting for your freedom such as The Alliance For Freedom From Alimony, Inc. – http://www.alimonyreform.org/
    4) Comment all articles that you find on the Alimony

    Feel free to contact me at my email below. Together we will be triumphant in changing the Alimony laws in Florida!!!!

    Hector Torres – htorres@idealocity.com
    http://www.idealocity.com

  13. Greg Turp says:

    I tried this new law in court for cohabitation and proved all points of the law with the exception of them using the same last name, to no avail. I had pictures of wedding bands, they have shared the same house and bed since the divorce 8 years ago, overseas trips together, family pictures with both of them at my son’s wedding, statements from both of my 20 something year old children (at their requests) stating that they were in all sense of the matter holding out as married couple, proof that they purchased a car together, they have moved together to a different town 150 miles away, etc. I could go on and on. The judge and attorney stated that the system is broken, but it is the best we have.

  14. rebecca says:

    I cant help but wonder if the ex husbands that are complaining about alimony paymants conseder that more than likely their wives raised their children, doing the jobs of several people. These mothers more than likely continues to work more than full time. It is quite possible that men dont understand what it takes to raise children properly. Most of these blogs sound like comments from jealous men. I personally know that I did everything possibly to keep my family together, yet my husband refused to stop his affairs with his secretaries, and after years of sarficing self respect, I realized that I was teaching my sons to be him and teaching my daughter to marry someone like him. The fact that a women finds someone post divorce,especially someone willing to take on the position of a positive role model is a good thing. The fact that he is willing to contribute to the relationship is even better. If we were to moniter the personal life of these men I wonder how mant nights they go out each week. I wonder how may vacations they are taking and with how many different women. Alimony helps support the children, it may mean the women can stay home with her children more. It is not fair to tell a women how she may spend her money and that is her money, well earned money. We give up careers, advancement in jobs, and free time for our children. I think the issue is these men are upset that their ex wives have found someone new, a reminder of their failure….

  15. stacy says:

    In response to Rebecca. I can’t speak for all ex-husbands but I can speak for my husband. When he was divorced he was ordered to pay alimony and child support. The youngest child was 16. The alimony was set for permanent. The entire length of his marriage he was the only party that worked. He would get up at 4:00 to start his day. At the end of the day he would come home to take his children to sports, after his wife sat on the couch watching soap operas all day. He took them shopping and taught them things. I think it is unfair to state that fathers don’t know how to raise children. They had agreed that when the kids became school age she would go to work but when it came time she refused. My husband more than one morning sat home waiting for her to come home from the bar and cheating on him before he could go to work. She drinks more than a 12 pack a day, smokes marijuana and pops pills. Every chance she gets she makes the comment to him that he will pay her until he dies. She lives in a house owned by her aunt almost rent free. Still refuses to work and sells drugs for side money. My husband works anywhere from 60-70 hours per week, I work full-time and have recently taken on a part-time job as well. Is it fair that the person who works hard and does right by people suffer? Is it right that she stays home all day in a drunken stupor and stoned and collects his money? Even with this both my husband and I believe that in some instances longer alimony is deserved, sometimes even permanent. If the ex-spouse is physically not capable of working or small children are at home. I don’t think that you should state that men don’t know how to raise kids because I see fathers every day that are better parents than a of women that I have seen. When my husband moved out, after his wife literally picked him up by his neck and knocked him across a room, all he took were his clothes. Now do you think in this instance that my husband should have to pay permanent alimony? Pay for the rest of his life so she can party all of the time?

  16. Lyn says:

    Has anyone won through the court system to have permanent alimony terminated because of cohabitation? Are there any extenuating circumstances that the court looks at such as ecomonic need?

  17. david says:

    Lyn – Have you heard any responses yet? My ex is also cohabitating and makes more than me even without her new fiance’. I am on the tail end of the alimony (29 out of 36 months paid!) But they have been together for 2 years now and enough is enough. Ironically enough I cannot even afford a conultation with an attorney to get the advice and direction I need.

    So who has won and who was your attorney?

    mojonjax@yahoo.com

  18. unfairtohim says:

    I am dating a man who is raising two children on his own and he pays his ex 1500.00 a month because she has was diagnosed with MS at time of divorce. He is losing everything including his house. They never have money for food, clothes, etc. I think she cares more about herself than the kids. She also has a live-in boyfriend (how do you prove that). He cannot afford an attorney or private investigator.

  19. Lee Borden says:

    I have several observations:
    (1) if the Ex’s boyfriend is indeed living there, it shouldn’t be all that expensive to prove it, and I gather she is receiving alimony, so that may be critical.
    (2) $18,000 per year may or may not be a lot of money; if the Ex is unable to work, that may not be unreasonable.
    (3) Are you sure you want to walk into the middle of this? Mom is stuck, Dad is stuck, and the kids are stuck. You, on the other hand, can ease away. That may sound callous, but if you walk into a marriage resenting the mother of your stepchildren, I think you’re asking for trouble.

  20. Bob m says:

    I know my ex’s boyfriend is living there but my kids wont admit it, his car is there, his snake is there, his dog is there but im trying to find out if his mail is being sent there.I just need to know if going to court is waste of time and money since i am totally cinvinced the women have this alimony crap in the bag when it comes to the courts.I have 2.5 years left of a 7 year and im wondering if its a wate of time.
    Thanks

  21. Lee Borden says:

    Read this page on thinking strategically: http://www.divorceinfo.com/thinkstrategically.htm . Gather all the evidence you have and WRITE IT DOWN in simple bullet form. Then, and this is just as important, WRITE DOWN the evidence you would expect Mom to present (including testimony by your children) that Ralph is NOT living there.

    Then buy an hour’s time with a good, seasoned family lawyer who practices regularly before your judge and find out the percentage probability the court will stop alimony after you each present the evidence you’ve described. You can then make a rational, dispassionate decision whether this is a fight you want to take on.

  22. in- prison says:

    My wife left me for another man, who is a habitual offender & convicted felon that receives disability. They were able to get her on disability somehow, she is not disabled. She filed for divorce with the help of her live-in boyfriend & were able to get a court order for permanent alimony for life & have it deducted out of my paycheck.
    I was in shock when I came home from work & she was gone without saying a word, again surprised by being served divorce papers. She not only got lump sum alimony but gets more out of my paycheck then I receive after taxes. The reason for the divorce is that she said she did not love me anymore & she refused marriage counseling. At the beginning I had no idea she was with someone else. I tried the new cohabitation law & because they don’t share the last name, nothing was changed. They have bought real estate together, she has been known to use his last name, share bank accounts, charge cards, everything a married couple would do.
    I feel like a prisoner for being a hard working honest person.
    The courts won’t hear anything, don’t care that she works under the table, makes money from prescription selling drugs, is in a better financial position then I am.
    I am in debt & will loose everything I have. Florida being a no-fault is a bad thing in my case. Yes, there was perjury several times from her & a miss trial because she got drugged up before the hearing (supposedly).
    Does anyone have a legal way of what I consider justice? If she does not want to be with me & would rather be with someone else, I can cope with that. But I don’t feel I should have to pay alimony to her. I would like to hear any commits good or bad.
    Suggestions on what I should do?

  23. in- prison says:

    The paragraph above:
    The bill would change Florida law on alimony to resemble that of my home state of Alabama, where cohabitation with a person of the opposite sex automatically puts a stop to alimony. The problem for alimony payers is proving cohabitation.

    I proved cohabitation in court & the judge ruled in my favor on that, but the court says there was not a change.
    The only part I can understand is the constant lying on their part. Alabama must have a better law regarding alimony then Florida. This new law to stop alimony has not been of effective.
    Is there something I missed?

  24. John says:

    So many of you have written in about the same thing .In New Jersey even a pre-nup is of no advantage since it is a equitable ditribution state.My suggestion to all of you is to ask the court for a review of financial status. Remember…you are intitled to as much as your spouse. If he or she is gaining advantage then there should be an ”adjustment” in the alimony and child support payments. Do yourselves a favor….Don’t go for the ”Jugler” go for the ”legs”It works!

  25. punished for working says:

    It takes both to marry & only one to divorce. Can not stop divorce & you will be paying alimony. Infidelity means nothing. Leaving you for another man is the future.
    Her drug and alcohol abuse will get her alimony. Don’t get family law confused with criminal law. Everything is in favor of criminal acts in family law. Everything will be split 50/50, then she will get lump sum alimony and permanent alimony. The best place for a woman to have affairs and leave the husband for another man is in Florida.
    The husband will not have any say in the divorce and will be supporting the ex-wife and boyfriend for life. That is better then any retirement and it pays more and starts as soon as the wife asks for temp. alimony, then permanent at the final.
    If you are thinking about the vows you both said when getting married is part of the marriage, you are wrong. Has nothing to do with her divorcing you to get that money & alimony for her boyfriend.
    Makes me think about looking for a woman that has a husband that works hard and has some assets. I could get her as my girlfriend and retire. As long as he is living I will be collecting his money. My income will not effect her alimony. Have to think like all the boyfriends that are breaking up marriages to retire early. Most people have no idea about how divorce in a no-fault state will change their life forever.

  26. Liz says:

    My fiancee’s ex-wife walked out of their house, filed for divorce and was awarded permanent alimony. She worked thru the marriage as much as he did and at times he stayed home with the children. Towards the end of the marriage she reduced her working to part time at her request and he gave the go ahead. Needlessly to say, it backfired as she was awarded $1200 a month alimony. He’s a truck driver so it’s not like there’s a money tree in the back yard. Shortly, after the divorce she quits her part time job, has no job to speak of even though the judge told her to find one. Now we find out, she’s possibly getting social security disability (for what we don’t know) food stamps, has basically moved in with someone, but does keep a so-called residence so we can’t prove she doesn’t have one. Also, has some idiot in PA sending her money every week that she obviously is lying to. Her line of work when working was a nail tech and made very good money. She now does this at home and makes cash money. My fiancee had a quadruple bypass 4 years ago, was told by his attorney not to pay alimony during the time of recuperation and that he could play catch up when he went back to work. Because of the badgering that was done to the support enforcement, he was taken back to court before he was even released to go back to work. All of this was explained to the judge and this judge still thru him in jail for not paying. We DID take her back to court after he was back to work and he did reduce it to $1000 a month. He is now off again for a hernia that he has to have surgery on and she’s calling about her alimony again threatening jail again. And actually all she’s owed is $10. This is outrageous that this can happen and that more can’t be done. She is also showing her 26 year old daughter that she doesn’t have to work, just get a man or the state to take care of you. Something needs to be done and more people that are having to pay this alimony need to stand up and we need to take a stand.

  27. keith says:

    A long time ago I was married to a girl for 3 years.
    18 years ago we went our separate ways and neither one of us ever filed for divorce. We have had no communication at all for the past 18 years. I now want to get a divorce from her. Can she come out of the woodwork after 18 years and ask for alimony?

  28. Judi says:

    i am planning to divorce my husband-we own a business together and his salary is significantly higher than mine is, in the state of florida can i receive alimony?

  29. lottery by divorce says:

    Wife left me for another man, file for divorce, got half of everything, got lump sum alimony & permanent alimony getting more net from my paycheck then me. Neither one of them work, but because I work, law states I have to support her. Boyfriend is actually getting all of the alimony. They have been together for over 10 years traveling, drinking and doing drugs. I also got stuck paying all attorney fee’s; I have lost all trust in lawyers & court system. My attorney did nothing for me & her attorney would lie for her. No such thing as perjury in family law. Florida is a no-fault state. Most people have no idea how unfair the law is. No children for child support, she would not want them anyways. New cohabitation law does not change anything. As long as she won’t work, she will get alimony. If a couple marries in church & swears to God on the vows; it really has nothing to do about a marriage in Florida.

  30. Vic says:

    Anyone worked with Judge Carlin regarding proving cohabitation? What specifics are required to prove this in order for alimony to be reduced or terminated?

  31. TJ Mahala says:

    I was married for 28 years to a women who was previously married, she had 2 childred, we did not have any together, I owned my own home, she moved in with me, because she worked and provided for the home, I put her name on the deed, I helped raise her kids, we sold the house in NJ, and moved to Florida, I worked 23 and sometimes 3 jobs to provide, when we divorced, she got 103,000. from sale of the home, 30,000. from my 401 and 8400.00 a year since 2004, I retired at 62 do to bad knees, and joint pain through out my body, I hired a lawyer to represent me in chancge of circumstances case, I have paid over 10,000.00 and had to pay 2500.00 to her attorney, I have 2 hearings left, one to try and prove my income if fixed do to retirment, I could get my 2500.00 back? and then let one person decide if I should keep paying. Oh forgot, she has steady job, owes 20,000. on her mortguge I have 30 year owe 79,000.00 and she has 5 savings and retirments? she is worth more then me!!!

  32. Thomas Hiers says:

    It is obvious that there is a great problem in the state of Florida. Circuit judges are handing down final judgments that vastly different depending on how they feel on a particular day (officially it’s called judicial discretion). Even though Florida is no fault, judges are imposing fault. Instead of order and consistency, their rulings are chaotic.

    Alimony should have a cap and time limit like child support or even unemployment compensation. The courts need strict guidelines to follow — again like child support. This will give consistency cross the state.
    Alimony should only be to help get the EX spouse back on their feet instead of today’s lifetime of servitude (which by the way is unconstitutional – but the courts continue to misread the law anyway). With a definite time limit the abuse of co-habitation and costly litigation will cease.

    We need to unite. Go to alimonyreform.com and join the fight to change the law.

    Alimonyreform.com

  33. homemaker 101 says:

    My marriage lasted 20yrs..then I found out he had been having affair with co worker for over 1 yr and had made plans underhandledly to leave when my son turned 18yrs.
    I filed for divorce and during the time before dissolution was granted…he and his mistress stalked my family. The dissolution was granted late last year, 2008, and I was awarded permenant alimony. I had been a stay at home mom..which is more work than he had worked in the 20 yrs of his employment. He married his mistress 18 days after divorce was final and she was 5 months pregnant..Now, he is going to retire in February 2010, and try to eliminate my alimony.He is only 48 yrs. Oh..and did I mention..just last week he purchased a new home for his new family..which will increase his living expenses by at least $1000 a month..He will try ANYTHING to hurt my family…when in fact..he is the one who adultered and was deceitful..

  34. John says:

    I have read just about everything there is to decrease or eliminate alimony. I have talked to over twenty lawyers and found that I had a bigger understanding of the ALIMONY situation then they could ever have. I have learned all the ”latin” terms and have read every case for 48 of the 50 states. I will tell you this guys…If the judge is a half good looking female, make a ”move” on her. Same with you ladies..(as if you didn’t know how to do that already). Here is my point….You will NEVER be able to stop the horror that exists in the courts. Lawyers and judges make a very good living out of your hopes and dreams. I have a great answer. It’s not ”illegal” and some would not find it ”fair”,but again, neither are they. answer…..Lie your ass off and swear to it! Honesty and fairness are not words in the legal system and i can prove it!

  35. confused says:

    I married in my early 20s, helped my now ex start his dream business, labored many more hours (for 12 years) than he did to make it successful (and it is) and divorced him after having 3 children, was awarded permanent, periodic alimony. He just bought a home worth a half a million and four months later he filed to have alimony and support modified. He lies so much. When we sold our marital residence he asked to borrow $32,000+ to help him pay his IRS debt because he had “no money”. I agreed (he knows I am one who helps people if I can, learning to my detriment) and just found out he had over $60,000 in his stock account when he borrowed that money from me, and did not touch that stock account to pay anything. We go to court next week on a Motion for Contempt and Motion to Compel (he does not want to provide any financial statements to back up his need to reduce his monthly obligations.) I have tried to go back to school, tried starting a business without being a ‘competitor’ of my old business owned with the ex. The business we owned together is a specialized industry and there are not any jobs out there for me to do what I did there. I am now, once again, going to go back to school and hopefully going to eventually study law. (If student loans are granted.) He is behind $22,000 by the time we go to court next week but has $100,000 in his stock account. He started paying me short stating he lost a client, because of the economy, etc. but he has gained clients since too. He does not want to provide financials because he states my little business I am trying to get off the ground would use that information. Fact is, we only work on a local level, he works on a national scale. It is totally different yet in the same industry (advertising). The main fact is that I already know 80% of the Clients from helping build the business he is still profiting from. (It was billing over a million a year when I left.) Is there ANY reason he would not be obligated to provide financials (if any client info shows up he can black that out but would not show up on his bank statements, stock accounts, etc. anyway!) And as for the $32,000, he has made a statement to one of our sons that he doesn’t owe me anything!

  36. Trisha says:

    My husband has paid 5,000.00 a month alimony for 18 years, in the Divorce the ex slug wife (who was 49) recieved a paid off Beach Condo, 750,000.00 in retirement and her car and all the marital home contents.
    She chose to Divorce my Husband after the two highest income earning years of his practice as an Orthopaedic Surgeon.
    She has invested in properties, while we had to mortgage his office and home in order to pay for the above assets.
    The Children were adults.
    9 years ago the Hernando County Courts reduced her alimony by 1000.00 per month, the 5th Judicial Courts overturned this order and we had to repay the monies, pay both attorneys and the appelate attorney for her.
    My husband is now 67 years old, his practice has diminished considerably. He is stressed, overwhelmed and is a good man. I have watched with horror as she then claimed 1200.00 off of his work record and recieved Social Security and Medicare.
    She now recieves 6200.00 per month, has bought 2 properties, one in Colorado where she is now co habitating with a man and She has 4 automobiles. Minks, jewelry, diamonds and lives the life of a Socialite.
    She is a master at hiding monies and should have been an actress by the way she cries in the Courtroom.
    Meanwhile we are 400,000.00 in debt, monies are dwindling and his retirement account is diminished considerably.
    He has a solo practice and in this economic climate is juggling to keep his practice afloat and pay his staff.

    When she moved to another state we had to keep sending her checks there.
    I am about ready to take her to court myself for my pain and suffering at watching my husbands health and mental health decline due to this atrocity.

    She has recieved now over 1 million dollars in PERMANENT LIFETIME ALIMONY, has never tried to get a job and is wearing an engagement ring.
    Does anyone know how we can get her tax statements, bank statements ect. she will not provide them even if supoenaed, she is a master at playing the game and hiding assets.
    My husband can not even think of retiring and I have worked full time to take any load off of him.
    Thanks for letting me Rant,
    Trisha (wife of 18 years)

  37. Susan says:

    Really..first of all alimony is help to get back into the working world an support yourself…Men live with women who contribute to the financial situation while paying alimony to a ex. My alimony is for 22 years of MY LIFE!! I can not get back…Years I spent trying to raise a family an have a happy future…so yea maybe the law should be alimony for marraiges of 20 years or more…but the payments should not stop EVER.Unless that person remarries..living with someone is crap. If they break up…what then….Yea…give me back my twenty years an you can have your stupid alimony..

  38. Marie says:

    Susan, how quick you forget your ex invested 20 years to that marriage also. I am certain it wasn’t a one way street for it to have lasted that length of time. The majority of people who collect alimony are ones who refuse to accept responsibility for their choices in life. Instead they want to punish their ex-spouses for their wrong choice. It takes two people to make a marriage and most often only one to end it. I do not know your circumstances but agree that in some very rare instances long term alimony is justified. But we’re living in the 21st century where women have had equal rights for many years making them capable of supporting themselves. There is no excuse for living off someone else’s hard work and earnings unless you are lazy and greedy. If every honest, moral person receiving alimony reversed the situation they would understand how wrong it is to enslave another human being and how self-centered they are. Be grateful for the 20 years, stand on your own two feet and get a life.

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