Prenuptial Agreements

[supercell68]

I am currently engaged to be married, but we do not have a date set yet.  It would likely be about 1 year away.  My fiance has two children, ages 1 and 4 from her prior marriage and an ex-husband who is a total idiot - selfish, inconsiderate, irresponsible, immature. Unfortunately, he seems to want to be involved in the lives of his children even though he makes a terrible father. My fiance agrees.

That said, I am looking at the prenuptial agreement as "divorce insurance" in the unfortunate, unforeseen event that my marriage ends in divorce. After all, it appears to be a higher risk, more complicated type marriage.  I took the following prenup quiz online and it said if one of us answers "yes" to one or more of the questions, that we may want to consider a prenup agreement. My answers are below to each question - note how many were "Yes".

Step One: Take a Prenup Quiz

If you or your fianc? answer yes to any of the following questions, there is a good chance a prenup would be helpful. If you answer no to every question, you might still benefit, but having a prenup might not be as critical.

    * Do you own any real estate? Yes, I own a home.
    * Do you own more than $50,000 worth of assets other than real estate? Yes, in excess of $200,000.
    * Do you own all or part of a business? No
    * Do you currently earn a salary of more than $100,000 per year? Yes, I presently earn $100,000/year myself
    * Have you earned more than one year's worth of retirement benefits or do you have other valuable employment benefits, such    as profit sharing or stock options? (Yes ? earned many years worth of benefits: >$100,000)
    * Does one of you plan to pursue an advanced degree while the other works? Maybe my fiance, not me.
    * Will all or part of your estate go to someone other than your spouse when you die? Probably not- would go to my wife.
    * Are children from a prior marriage involved? Yes, my fiance has two children from a prior marriage.
    * Does one party have significantly more assets than the other? Yes, I have about $250,000 in assets - she has close to nothing and is still in debt.
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BTW, I wanted to indicate that I am volunteering to pay off $18,000 worth of debt for my fiance that she accrued during her prior marriage- most/all of that was run up by her husband.  I think this is pretty generous of me, but I wanted our marriage to start out debt-free on a solid financial foundation. 

Some of the things that are important to me in the event of a divorce and during the marriage itself:
- I want to keep our finances/assets/inheritances separate during the marriage and in the event of divorce.
- Define who gets what if there is a divorce (property, etc). 
- Protect each other from debts.
- I want to protect myself from lawsuits coming from my fiance's ex-husband or children.  For instance, let's say one of her children damages someone's property or gets in a car wreck when they are a teenager - assuming the lawsuit would go to her ex-husband and my fiance, and me since we are married.  I want to protect my assets/finances from these types of situations that could come up during the marriage if possible. Is this possible with a prenup?
- I would not want to pay alimony in the event of divorce
- whether you will provide for a surviving spouse -- for example, in your estate plan or with life insurance coverage
- Health insurance coverage.  Would hers or mine be used for her and her children?

Is it possible to protect myself from lawsuits (and other sources of debt) coming from my fiance's ex-husband or children? 

If you have any insight on prenups and whether you think it would benefit me, it would be greatly appreciated.

Jim






 

[Lee Borden]

I'm less excited about prenups than most family lawyers, primarily because they tend to be a lawyers' full employment plan and because they're such a downer for romance. In particular, I think the questions in your prenup quiz don't necessarily get at the real issues that you and your fiance should be considering.

i would recommend that you look at the key assets that each of you owns now. What would you want to happen to those assets if you separated after being married for one year? for five years? for 15 years? for 25 years? Now that you know what you would want to happen, how would a divorce court judge be likely to deal with those assets? Only if the court would be likely to treat them in a way fundamentally different from your shared desire should you use a prenuptial agreement.

And one other thing: if you're going to do a prenup, for goodness sake do it now. The last thing you want is to be negotiating the final terms of your prenuptial agreement in the final days before your wedding (happens all too often).

[supercell68]

Lee,

Thanks for the advice.  I still haven't decided on whether to push for the prenup route. Like you indicated- it kills the romance and indicates maybe trust issues?  If we take the vows, aren't we supposed to believe in following them?  I sure have a lot on my mind lately- lol.  She recently said she would stay with me all the way as my girlfriend and love me no less if I felt I didn't want to get married because of all of the potential consequences.  That said, I think after a while, it wouldn't feel like the strong committment we both would want if we didn't get married. 

[fridaygirl2]

I can only tell you how things can change in a short amount of time.....

Wish I had gotten a pre-nup. both of my sisters have them and my brother. I thought it would take the "romance" out of the relationship and I'm the on now trying to get out of a marriage!!

Hope this all works well for you.

FG