Welcome to All About Money - please read this before posting

Welcome to All About Money. This is a wonderful place to ask questions and receive answers about the financial aspects of divorce/separation. After visiting this board, please feel free to check out one of the sister boards here at divorceinfo.com - Helping Each Other (HEO), and Alabama Divorce Questions.

Safety
Internet forums are an interesting dynamic. Sometimes you can feel like you are really connecting with the people who are posting, but do exercise caution.

If you receive pm's or emails from another poster think twice before providing too many details, until you get to know them much better. If you get information asking for personal information regarding a third party, think twice before providing it. Personal info should be provided only by the person about whom it is requested.

Registering

When registering for this site, you will notice that we have installed a registration approval process. This is simply because we have had an overrun of spammers in recent months who has made our moderator's life a living hell. Expect to get a confirmation back from us within 24hours, but if you don't, then firstly check the spam filter on your email account to see if the approval is there. If not, then write to register@divorceinfo.com and let us know. We WILL get back to you.

Your profile has options where you can make your email address invisible. It is safest to have this turned to off. Go to Profile > Account related settings > and tick the "Hide email address from public" box. In the same area you can also check the tick button off for "Show others your online status?"

Your STBX

You may be concerned about your ex or STBX reading this site. It is possible and has happened before, but there are some simple ways to help protect yourself:

1.   Don't involve your children. Kids have no say in divorce, but they are often dragged into the middle of the battle. Apart from the warnings about not making your child your confidante during this time, it can be better not to even let your children know that you are posting here. On more than one occasion, STBX's have found their way here (and used information against their spouse in divorce proceedings) because the children have casually and innocently slipped where the other parent has been frequenting. The same goes with mutual friends.

2.   Delete your history. If you are both still in the same home, or your computer is vulnerable to access while you are away from home, delete your history in your web browser. If you must bookmark to remember the site, give a generic name to the bookmark tab (i.e. cooking recipes, or NASCAR favorites), something you know your STBX is totally uninterested in. Or better still, set up a password access for your entire desktop.

3.   You may also want to consider setting up a new email account that your STBX doesn't know about. Please be aware that the registration process with gmail accounts may take a little longer as this tends to be our spammers' favorite email source.

4.   Be careful of weak moments with your STBX. Sometimes during the break up process, you may have times where you feel that there is still some hope, and as much as we would love to see you have a happy ending and not hold secrets during attempts at reconciliation, you might need us again. Think carefully before divulging your source of help, it can make it hard for you to pour your heart out again later, if you need it.

Posting for the first time

For some, posting for the first time can be a terrifying experience. Your self-esteem might already be shattered and you are exposing yourself to people you don't know. But remember that they also don't know you. Their opinions are just that - opinions from a variety of people who are not experts or professionals, they've just been down a similar road before. There are things you might not want to hear - and sometimes they can be valid and sometimes unpleasant.

Sometimes you may not get an immediate reply.....don't feel rejected. People are at different stages of their divorce and may not be able to totally relate to what you are saying. It might be a slow day, but someone will usually be along soon enough to give advice. Reply and acknowledge that you've read their post, it will help to keep your post on the front page for others to read - and will let others know that you are still around.

Finally, welcome to All About Money. We hope that we can help answer your questions and help you back on the road to recovery from divorce.
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