alright-QDRO-how do i do this?

[christineseip]

    i don't know a QDRO from a hole in the ground.  how do you proceed with this?  i have no idea how to proceed, and my lawyer wasn't helpful.  she made the process sound very complicated, and she wasn't very specific on details.

[m_t]

Probably because it is relatively complicated. I had my attorney take care of it.

[TC]

My very limited experience with this was back when I first filed for divorce and it came up with the ex.  Yes, it is rather complicated...mainly because it is a first for all of us.  Your attorney should be able to help you with this.  Reapproach, tell s/he specifically you want their help in this regard.  Push them to give you the service you need.  If they can't...one might quesiton their reliabililty in other areas and consider getting second/third opinions with a possible permanent change of attorney a real possibility.

I can't give you specifics....my divorce was 15 years ago and anything I knew about this I have long since forgot.

TC

[InDenial]

QDROs seem to be one of those things that some lawyers are afraid to touch.  My lawyer told me straight out that she doesn't do them.  My STBX's lawyer initially said she knew how to do one, but then filled my STBX's head with scare stories about the many things that can go wrong.  I am skeptical about such talk, but in my own case can let it slide, as I will use the money he owes me from his 401K to offset the money I owe him for the house.

However one things all lawyers seem to know is referrals, so ask your lawyer to refer you to someone who DOES know how to do QDROs.  Also a simple google search of "<your-state-name> QDRO" will undoubtedly turn up many lawyers in your area who advertise that they perform QDROs.  But I would try the referral route first.

Also does your Ex/STBX work for a large company?  Mine does, and their plan administrator was able to provide boiler plate language for a QDRO.

[christineseip]

success!  obtained what i need from one company, and have a hot lead on the second!  the best way to get me motivated is to tell me that something is difficult, i guess.  and the first company only took 2 hours and seven phone calls...