Child support Question

[armywife1213]

My ex is almost 6000$ in arrears in child support.  He stopped working a "normal" job but works under the table.  His wife is expecting an extremely large inherritance from her father's investments since his passing so he thinks hes getting our boys.  I was wondering if the federal Dead Beat Dad law took effect in my case because of quitting his job to avoid child support and because its been 3 wks shy of a year since he has paid and it's over 5 grand?  Sorry Take that back he paid 312$ three months ago after my attorney's secretary called his attorney's office daily. Child support was ordered as with holding from his paycheck in the amount of 449 a month paid on the first.  and not to mention he still in 5 years has not paid the first medical bill or carried insurance on my two children.  We have been back to court and we agreed 449 a month plus 100 toward arrears.  The only problem is the judge hasn't even seen the papers the GAL has signed I have signed and he still hasn't.  Its been 4 months.  

[livealittle]

I don't know what state you are in, but here in Madison County AL, you have to register with DHR in order to file anything with child support.

here's the links to the AL child support information page on the web.

http://www.dhr.state.al.us/page.asp?pageid=288

I'm sure your state has a page too and you should spend some time getting educated, then take action.

[armywife1213]

I went to the local DHR here in Tuscaloosa.  I was informed that since I have an attorney have my attorney file everything and go through that way.  Everytime we go through a "normal" court proceeding the judge just slaps my ex's wrist and add's 50$ to what was already ordered for arrearage.  And order's him to get insurance.  Is there anything else we can do since I have an attorney to file other than contempt?

[CollegeDad]

I am not aware of anything outside of holding him in contempt of court to remedy your situation. 

Are you concerned that the judge will refuse to hold him in contempt?  Or are you reserving a contempt action as a last resort? 

[armywife1213]

I know this may sound strange but some what both.  Everytime we have gone to court it's like he or his family members knows the judge, but i have no way of proving that but that is  the feeling u get.  We have gone over me trying to move out of state and we have added insurance and child support when we file and they just keep telling him to pay and then nothing happens.  This time we are actually filing Contempt of court charges, instead of adding on child support to the move restriction hearings.  I just have another feeling that it's gonna turn out the same way, Im stuck living here instead of with my husband and supporting my self and kids like a single mom again with little help, and none from their father or government. and I was just wondering if there was something else we could do.  I mean I don't want my kids hearing from their father well "your mom is the one who put me in jail"  Cuz I know he would.  Did it during divorce proceedings...

[CollegeDad]

This is completely understandable.  Its better to try to work things out with the other parent of your children out side of court if at all possible.  But, that is just not always possible especially with someone that makes a habit (apparently a career in your case I'm sorry to say) of taking advantage of your good graces.  When you try to play fair and the other party doesn't reciprocate then you really have no choice but to try to get a fair shake from the courts. 

There is really not much that you can do if the judge happens to be friends or fishing buddies with someone connected to your ex.  Ethically, if he is connected with your ex he should recuse himself from the case.  If you had some sort of knowledge of that, you might be able to request him to recuse himself from the case.  Any kind of a connection like that can give your ex a preferential nod maybe in a few circumstances or where a decision is in a gray area.  My folks are all friends with a couple of the judges in my home town and I know from personal experience that it does make a difference to have a judge on your side. 

In your case, if you can't change judges then you are just going to have to go in there and ask the judge to do his job in spite of any preferences that he may be harboring on your ex's behalf.  In the end, the judge will have to make his decision on the merits of what is placed before him.  Just make your case as clear as possible and I'm sure the judge will choose doing what is right over any fears he may have of losing a fishing buddy over the matter.  I believe that as long as you present the facts and show how that you have bent over backwards to try and work with your ex, the judge will have no problem issuing a contempt order against him. 

Oh, and as far as the ex telling the kids that mommy put daddy in jail, if they ask you, you are just going to have to tell them that "No, a judge put daddy in jail for not paying his fair share of support for you kids".  Kids are smarter than you think.  They have their own sense of right and wrong.  If he tries to use this to make you look bad in the eyes of the kids it will probably backfire on him and make hiim look worse in the end.  After all, he is the one that had to go to jail and kids know you don't go to jail unless you've done something wrong.  So, stick to your guns.  Show your ex that you mean business. 

Hopefully at some point you can reunite with your husband.  I can only imagine that this has put a strain on your current marriage.  I don't know when you'll be able to resolve that or how. 

Good luck and stay focussed on the goal. 

[armywife1213]

Thanks for the advice and some confidence lol..  My husband is currently begging the army to allow him to change his career choice to be closer to us.  His unit is doing what they can to persuade them but as we all know it's what the Army says goes, when they want it.  But thanks again.

[chill]

See if on top of taking your ex back to court, see if your lawyer can put a lean on his house for the amount.  And personally I would let the DHR in on it too.  If they are the ones that collect, I would have both working for you.

[armywife1213]

He and his wife live with her mother and step father.  They bought a car and has put it in the step father's name.  They are basically putting everything in either her name or in her step father's name to avoid any thing like that.