Ex-wife has man living with her and my children: What can I do?

[acecurry]

My ex-wife has had a man recently move in with her. She told me on the phone that they were married but I can find no information about that (aren't marriage licenses supposed to be public record?). She refused to even give me his name. I found out his name from the children after about 3 weeks of him moving in. She just changed the status on her myspace page to engaged about a week ago. We both live in Baldwin county and this is the county that we got the divorce in. I've heard about a morality issue but I do not know anymore than that. Is there anything I can do about this situation?

[m_t]

Does your order have a lclause prohibiting cohabitation? What does AL law say (I simply don't have time right now to search for it)? You should try googling for that info.

But, generally speaking, unless you have proof that he is a danger to the children (i.e. a convicted sex offender), it may not be seen as a big deal.

[Lee Borden]

Some judges in AL will insert if requested a clause similar to this: "Neither party will have guests of the opposite sex not related by blood or marriage (and with whom they are romantically involved) to spend the night in the same residence where the Children are residing or visiting." The way to get it would be to file a petition to modify the divorce decree (filing fee typically $250-275, plus legal fee). Some judges, as m_t says, don't want to be bothered and will refuse to do anything.

What is likely to happen if you are successful is that Mom will marry her new lover. If that's what you want to encourage, filing a petition to modify would be a reasonable way to do it.

[justasking]

I have a clause with the above in my divorce. Going back to court on other issues. If she has had a man living with her not married, child with this man. What can I do about it?  I live in Alabama

[TC]

Realistically, unless the child(ren) involved are in physical jeopardy, not much. 

If there is alimony involved, it can effect that and the court can terminate...otherwise...the court is likely to admonish IF you can prove it, but nothing more.  The court is not positioned to dictate or monitor morality.  That clause is put in a lot of decrees, but it is difficult at best and almost impossible to enforce. 

Doesn't mean you shouldn't try, I would just temper my expectations if I did.

TC

[bama1987]

i kinda got this goin me and my ex husband split in january not legally not that soon after he got involved and moved in with another woman he refused to give the kids back i meet someone as well in march paid my lawyer off and got custady of the children they have been near my bf they love him more than there father. the lawyers meet one time and agreed on the divorce but not on custody in feb 2010 will be another meeting with the lawyers and judges my ex jumps from lawyer to lowyer like his underwear. i was woundering if i can move in with my bf since he has been paying for the childrens furniture school supplies and cloths i am living with my folks any avice will help

[m_t]

i kinda got this goin me and my ex husband split in january not legally not that soon after he got involved and moved in with another woman he refused to give the kids back i meet someone as well in march paid my lawyer off and got custady of the children they have been near my bf they love him more than there father. the lawyers meet one time and agreed on the divorce but not on custody in feb 2010 will be another meeting with the lawyers and judges my ex jumps from lawyer to lowyer like his underwear. i was woundering if i can move in with my bf since he has been paying for the childrens furniture school supplies and cloths i am living with my folks any avice will help

If custody has not been decided? *I* wouldn't do it.

[livealittle]

i kinda got this goin me and my ex husband split in january not legally not that soon after he got involved and moved in with another woman he refused to give the kids back i meet someone as well in march paid my lawyer off and got custady of the children they have been near my bf they love him more than there father. the lawyers meet one time and agreed on the divorce but not on custody in feb 2010 will be another meeting with the lawyers and judges my ex jumps from lawyer to lowyer like his underwear. i was woundering if i can move in with my bf since he has been paying for the childrens furniture school supplies and cloths i am living with my folks any avice will help

I wouldn't do it either.

[Grace48]

On the original post: I am from Mobile county. I have nothing very specific in my decree about visitation and morality with my chldren other than a basic schedule that is "not limited to" as we agreee for visitation and it also states that the children should be in a morally acceptable environment. During the divorce, as it took over a year to get my case heard, my judge did sign an order keeping my ex's lover and new baby away from our baby and pre schooler. But, as stated before, my ex married her as soon as possible, as he and she both took offense to the idea that she was not suitable due to the affair. I would venture to say yes, if you are going to court anyway, somehthing could be done about it. However, enforcing it and not just pushing them to marry is another thing. If you weren't going  to court I wouldn't pay the money.

As to the second post, I would stay put with my parents. I won full custody of my children, legally and physically. The ex only got visitation. I am pretty straight laced, conservative, christian woman and I think that played to my favor in comparison. I don't think I would have been able to pull that off with questionable living arrangements. Not to say the bf is not great, just think about how the judge will percieve it. JMO