Hey TG, Buckeye and ya'll

[Cam]

So are you dating? Serious?  Online? What's up with life for all you.  We keep talking about online dating yet I wonder if the rest of us have had any dates from the grocery aisle or Wally world or friends and family fixn' us up.  What's really going on in your lives eh???   

[buckeye68]

No dating.  I have thrown myself into work and working on the cabin.  i still have feelings for the x, god help me, and i just do not feel like it would be right to try and date when i still have feelings for the x.  life is busy but full of promise.

buckeye

[TopGun]

Cam, I found a real nice girl from my work place.  We have been dating for the past year.  Until her, I tried a couple dating sites and meet some very nice girls.  But, I have been a very hard person to date since the divorce.  I let people get only so close before I would run.  I hurt alot of people during this transition period, so I quit dating and worked on me.  I felt maybe I was rushing into the dating scene.  Since the ex was already on her second man, I thought I should be ready also, but I dont think I was.  The woman I am dating now has been through these up and downs with me with God given patience and understanding.  Lately she has asked me where our relationship was going in the future, which freaked me out.   She stated she didn't want to waste her time with someone who has doubts about the relationship moving forward in the future.  She stated that she didn't expect to get married tomorrow, but somewhere down the road.  We talked about the statistics of a second marriage, ect.  I just don't want to go through this experience ever again.  I think that is normal   Her and I came to a mutual agreement and she was content.......for now   I am the proud father of two wonderful kids and I am trying to be the best Dad that I can.  They seem to be adjusting very well.  They have a mother and a father who love them very much, but they just dont live together anymore.  My son, who is 14yrs old, does not like my ex's new man.  It bothers me because he is with mom alot more than dad so that means he is around this guy alot   I have told him that he doesn't have to like him, but that he needs to respect him.  I explained that if his mother likes him, and he is going to be around, he needs to make the best of it.  They get along great with my gf, so there is no issue there.  That is my update.  Great hearing from you and I hope things are heading in the right direction for you.

[Cam]

Wow I'm soo glad you two answered !!   

Buckeye, I completely understand.  Me too as pathetic as it sounds.  I have tired and tried and finally gave up trying.  Now for some reason I have such a lighthearted attitude toward him and about him it really helps my heart.   My kids posted a picture I tried to download here and just couldn't get it to go.  I titled it 'swamp people of Montana' !!  I can't believe the change in him and sad in stance and looks he has become.  For a time I felt sorry for him and kinda responsible.  I knew if I talked with him and took some time to spend with him,  I knew I could help him.  Yet I didn't.   Now it just isn't something I desire to do anymore. 

Sad in a way to think that picture could bring me soo many chuckles. There is such inside comedy to it I just can't explain.  Yet for me it was a real release of who he isn't anymore.  And that is the biggest thing.. who they aren't anymore...   

You know who you are and you know you like you and who you've become and even thinking of your x in a kind way is a good thing for now.  It just means you really have empathy for her.  If somewhere in you, you feel you would take her back in an instance.. you have to wonder if that means the way she is 'now' or the way you wish she 'was'.   So hard Buck so very hard. 

I think it's great you have moved on soo well and I bet your kids feel so much more stable with your forward motion.  You aren't dragging them down with worry or shame or pitting them against their mom.  They must be very proud of you and the example you've set as a man.  Big Hugs Buck and one day we will have all we have ever needed...   

[Cam]

TG I just can't express how happy I am for you.  You sound unbelieveably wonderful !!   Such a big change in your life in such a short time.  Feels like forever tho!   You have done well and learned more than most of us.  I hope this woman understands the man she has a hold of and hangs on tight!!    Don't wait soo long to post such good news we need all we can get buddy !!  So very proud of you and so very happy for you too!!!     

[TopGun]

Thanks Cam