Been a long time since I posted, so a quick update/review. I told the STBX I wanted a divorce in October, I have been contracting overseas for the majority of the last seven years. The time apart took it's toll. We probably should have been debt free some time ago. She had control of all finances. She walked away from her teaching career "I just don't want liability or that much responsibility" taking a part time job with no benefits. This has left me to pay the debt off alone, her salary might pay the light bill each month. I have no life here in the middle east, don't expect sympathy, I am a lowly government contractor, overpaid in the eyes of some I am sure. One of my subordinates was killed in a car wreck on his way to work in August, that took it's toll. No sympathy from her, she was about to play tennis when I called to cry on her shoulder. Weeks without phone calls to/from her, and she did not even wonder what was up. Once we started talking again, she assumed it was another woman. I work 84 hours a week minimum, when the hell would I have the time or energy? Anyway, I told her I thought her and I were through. Visited Alabama in November, took a little better than half the money out, due to our accounts being in the negative (income v outflow) like three months in a row. She gambles sometimes, did not know if her bi-polar disorder was getting worse (two previous manic episodes) I consulted an attorney, we talked about uncontested. She balked, we went to mediation (Lee County) Started with their terms, and my offer. Instead of working toward each other, they were going the other way. Wanted me to pay for the shiny new car, utilities, etc. Needless to say, mediation was a failure. I was to fly back to the ME on 18 Nov, and her father ambushed me in the Atlanta airport, with a blank envelope wanting me to take it. I call my attorney that afternoon, and find that this incident counted as an attempt to serve me, and failure to accept. NICE
So, we go to court in a couple of weeks, I am the defendant, have given my atty all files they requested, he has not handed all of them over. She wants permanent alimony or support, me to pay utilities, house, land, until sold. Of course in this market, it WON"T. Her medical insurance, would be my responsibility as well. (Which it HAS been for years) Now the papers they filed indicate she had not worked in over five years, of course her W2s in my possession indicate otherwise. She claims mental/emotional problems, so ya know, she can't work. (Her condition is identical to her mother's to my knowledge, and her mom worked nearly full time up until retirement a year or two ago).
So, I expect to die here in the middle east, forever in debt to a woman who lost her love for me a long time ago, so she can relax and enjoy the comforts of America. I expect to have to pay for her legal fees as well, though they did not ask for it up front. Judge Fellows will be presiding. The evidence against me is Facebook and email rants with her. I did not stoop to that level. I have been a faithful, loving husband for nearly 18 years, was a caring boyfriend for the four years prior. No kids, but it does not make it a whole lot easier. I could have easily filed PTSD based off the 25 years in Emergency Services, and certainly from being the first arriving unit on the scene of Ben's horrific accident. But I want to persevere, to be a responsible, productive member of soceity...I just would like to come home and do it.
Anyway, I welcome any input, guidance, or other responses....Thank you