I got this by e-mail from Melinda. She has generously agreed to allow me to share it with you.
I’m recently going through a divorce. I was totally able to relate to your advice on loneliness and divorce. I feel that I’m beginning to transcend the worst of it, but the “feeling” sneaks and creeps up on me. I’m over the deep sadness. Now, it’s just sad. (but I use it as a cue to remember how many blessings and good things there are in life).
I have a very supportive family. They’re helping me over and beyond. They’ve provided me with a heavenly haven to heal. Helped me with so much. They’ve arranged for and sent me to career counseling, yadayadayada. I am so blessed and grateful.
So why do I write to you? I don’t like talking about loneliness. When I’m with my loved ones and friends, I don’t want to get them down by talking about the negatives. I read voraciously and as you’ve said, the good thing about divorce is, you really get to know yourself better than you ever have. I am searching. With my daughter grown and off to college and no husband, it is time for me to fulfill my life purpose for this phase.
I don’t mean to sound “out there,” but it’s as though the universe is converging on me. The friends I’m meeting, experiences I’m having and the coincidences are mind boggling. I feel I’m going through spiritual and pre-enlightenment exercise/ homework.
I am heartened by the insight that it takes 3-4 years to overcome the loneliness and longing. The most difficult time of my day is in the morning when I awake. I can’t lounge in bed and enjoy the relaxation of sleeping in. If I don’t get up, the negative thoughts consume me. I guess I shouldn’t complain since that period is relatively short.
Thank you for encouraging your readers to write. It has helped me to write some of what I’m feeling.