Marine Corp. Divorce Rate

Could this be true? Here’s an article in Marine Forces Pacific that quotes the Defense Manpower Data Center as saying the divorce rate in the Marine Corps is 20% higher than that of the general population. Why would that be?

Here are some reasons, according to the article:

First, young marines are subject to the “financial illusion” they will be wealthier if they marry, move out of the barracks, and begin receiving Basic Allowance for Housing, separation allowances, and commuted rations. Actually, however, the extra compensation they receive is almost never enough to support a family, so they are caught by surprise when money troubles set in.

Second, young marines are often eager to leave the barracks, so eager they marry a spouse without making sure the match will last.

Third, military life is surprisingly lonely, so young marines often fail to look for the right one and go for the right now instead. Fourth, young marines often are not mature enough to make a life decision like marriage. The article recommends that any marine considering marriage talk to his or her supervisor first, to make sure there’s not something important he or she is overlooking.

Through MCCS One Source, the Marine Corps offers counseling 24-7, including premarital counseling when marines request it.

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101 thoughts on “Marine Corp. Divorce Rate”

  1. wow. that was an amazing story. My husband who I caught cheating on me wants me back…I fear that I will end up like your story. I want to believe that he will change and that the help he is getting is working but I just don’t know. Once you’ve been hurt so bad you don’t want to feel that hurt again. I’m dating a wonderful man now who loves me for me and doesn’t talk down to me. Am I stupid to even consider staying with my husband after he cheated on me and lied about it for months? Can people really change and become honest and faithful?

  2. always alone

    You know take my advice, A man is like a fox, they can change their fur but not their habits. If I had it to do over, I would have gotten out of it. He made our childrens life miserable. They talk about it today. After the Corps, he was just a bad, not working and staying in bar’s and picking up woman. He made enough money to drink on and not help at the house. He was put threw 4 alcholic programs. Actually in months of treatment and would leave to come home and within a week he would be drinking again. I supported the family and kept my children active in sports and scouts. He never came to one football game and my son played pee wee league from the time he was 7 year old and all the way threw high school. He cheated with women that were older like 20 yrs. He did not seem to care. It seemed if he knew a couple and the husband died he was in for the kill. He was a real giglow. He just could not keep his tool in his pants. One of our friends daughter walked in when they were almost in the act and ran him off. The next day the friend called me and told me she didn’t want him over at her house any more, cause he wasn’t a gentleman when he was at her house. Well, I guess he got scared, cause he was trying to tell me about it the day it happened. He said she was drunk and all over him. He should have been a man and left before the daughter came in a saw whatever she saw? Oh, does he regret it today. I feel that he destroyed my life and his too. So my advise is get out of it and never look back.

    Mary fran

  3. I met this marine when he was on leave before he left to Iraq. Over the next year we stayed in touch but we were just friends since he was in Iraq. Well long story short we got to know each other and when he returned from Iraq we talked everyday. He seemed like a really good guy so we decided that we would meet up again when he came home on leave (he is from where I live now). When he got here we hung out and decided that we both were looking for the same things and would actually try a relationship out. I had some concerns but put it aside because I felt it was due to past relationships. Things were good for the two weeks he was here and for a week after to left, then he just stopped talking to me. Which was fine with me I am not about to play any games. The problem is now two weeks later I found out I am pregnant. I have no idea what to do, I do want to have it, I mean I do not see any reason not to I have a great career, and make a good living. I just do not know if I should push for him to be in our lives, I did tell him actually I was a coward and text him, he just responded okay. I think he is young, he is 23, and just got back from spending a year in Iraq I do not think he is ready to deal with this. Just wondering if anyone has any advice to share with me.


  4. Hi. Just wanted to say to you all struggling with a Marine, please don’t give up. My Marine and I have been married for 6 years and together for 11. He’s been in the Marine Corps 8 years. At times it may be difficult and there may be alot of obstacles to overcome but it CAN be done! Try to be as supportive as you can be to your Marine and love him even though he might seem unloveable at times. It is hard, especially when you both haven’t been together for long periods of time. But it has probably been harder on him. I’m not trying to downplay the wife or girlfriends role in anyway, because I know we have it tough too. But for instance, he has it tougher because he’s probably seen many of his buddies shot and probably die in front of him. The become numb to any emotions and that probably includes feeling love. He’s been through alot (especially if he’s been to combat) so he needs your support and understanding. If he sees your strength, he’ll admire and respect you so much more for it. My husband was a Grunt before and is now a Drill Instructor, so I know first hand that it isn’t an easy road to take, but with GOD’s help anything is possible. If you put GOD first in everything you do, he’ll save your relationship or marriage. Miracles do happen and GOD can change your loved one for the better. Have faith in Christ and much love to you all.

    P.S. For all the Marine’s wives who have been cheated on or suspect their man of cheating, don’t give up just yet. Have faith in GOD. Turn to Him and He will change your spouse. Don’t give up on your marriage so easily. Fight for it and overcome. Remember For Better Or For Worse.

  5. Wow okay ya’ll I am married for 2 years going on 3 to a Marine now see I was a soldier and we met on the same post married quick, everything people tell you not to do. We agreed I would get out not re enlist and I would go back to my PARENTS home and go to school so they could help me with my child. HAHA what a joke I get up here my husband moves back into the barracks starts hanging out with his two lil friends. I go to nursing school as planned. One saturday night at oh about midnight i get a call from him drunk at wal mart with his lil friends he tells me he wants a divorce and thats it. I love all military and really i do respect marines but are you kidding me. My husband is heartless doesnt think things through and choose two guys over his family. it makes me sick

  6. hey, maybe someone can help me out. I’ve been married to a Marine for about 2 years. We got married at 19 because I was pregnant. He said he was going to be here for both of us. He deployed when I was 4 mths pregnant. He came back to meet his 2 1/2 month old son. We lived on-base for 3 months but we always argued, then I found out he slept with someone else right before he left to Iraq when I was about 3 months pregnant. I moved out and came back to my parents and we were still together though. I later found out he would go out with his single friends, to meet other girls, and you know what guys do. Now, he’s in Iraq again. I’ve found out about 5 girls. Our son is 15 months and still cries for his “dat”. I feel that if I leave him, I’m hurting my son. I don’t want to be put through the pain ever again. He says he’ll stop and that he’s sorry and that he loves me. But I’ve heard that everytime I confront him about a girl I find out. So, of course, I don’t believe him. If it were just me, I would have left him long ago. But I am so scared that my son won’t understand one day. Or that when he needs his dad he’ll accuse me of not trying. And everytime I imagine that in a few years my son, coming to me on Father’s Day, asking me “why don’t I have a daddy” or “why isn’t he with us?” I just start crying. I can’t even imagine what I would say to him. I feel as if I have to put up with this for my son. It’s so degrading. And I hate being this miserable. But I doubt I’m the only one in this situation. So if anyone who reads this relates to me, please tell me how can you keep going everytime you want to give up? My son is my reason, but I’m starting to lose hope in myself. I don’t think I can keep living like this til he’s 18. I want to be happy, too.

  7. I am considering moving myself and my 2 children to California to follow my Marine boyfriend. He was a Marine before and is now reenlisted. It is so difficult to break thru his shell and he says it is because his Marine training. He has been violent and disrespects me. My exhusband is a terrific father to our children and I would be leaving him behind with our kids to begin a life with my boyfriend. We have been together for about 1.5 years. I am 34 years old and he is 31. I love him and he says he loves me the best he knows how. Will this get harder and harder to get close to his with the reenlistment? He is so harsh and demanding, but I love the times when we are not fighting and he actually talks to me. Am I crazy or just crazy in love?

  8. You are crazy in love and the life will be TOO HARD. Do yourself a huge favor and DON’T DO IT.

  9. HELP!
    I need someone with knowledge of marine corp and different types of jobs that a marine may engage in because I don’t know what I should believe. . .

    So I have been dating this marine corporal (25 yr. old male, I’m 24) for about 2 months. Things moved along fairly quickly. He began staying over my place almost every night and then I started to second guess his honesty and intentions and since then it has been a little wierd. He claims to work as a driver (therefore he will sometimes leave on a thursday or friday and not come back until Sunday), but he says he is also a boss that has a boss as well where he will file taxes for other marines and whatnot.

    Anyhow, I met him on a dating site and he failed to fill out the “ever married” “have kids” “want kids” section. I thought he was just lazy, but on our second date, I asked about it and come to find out that he is divorced and has one young little girl, which both live out of the area. Anyhow. . . throughout dating I have brought it up and he refused to talk about his little girl or his ex-wife and their situation. All I know is that he rarely sees the little girl and his is “working on” getting to take her for a month. Oh and I also know that he says he claims to have married her originally to get extra income before going to Iraq and while in Iraq she cheated on him and had the baby, so when he got back they got divorced, and supposidely she is still with the other guy. Although he says that he is not forbidden to see his little girl, he never makes special trips to see her and when he has to drive to the area around where she lives, he will not stop by. I found this a little wierd so I included it in his description.

    Anyhow, once we became comfortable with one another (as much as you can after only a few months) I noticed that he gets tired and will frequently ask me not to touch him and if I didn’t ask or kiss him, he wouldn’t even kiss me. But on other nights he is fine. Anyhow, I have emotional baggage from my previous relationship (because he cheated on me while we were to be married)so with these curious behaviors, I began to question whether he was trustworthy. Anyhow, I checked his phone, didn’t see anything. Then the next week, checked it again (two days in a row) and found text messages from a girl (from both days) discussing her custody issues she is having and how she doesn’t know what to do, and he is seemingly giving her advice. I confronted him about it and he claims it was another male marine he was the boss of and although it looked like a girls name, it was a latin male’s name, but he did follow it up with that he was actually talking to his wife. It was curious though, because it resembled a girls name but with a number in the middle of it, which he therefore used to change the pronounciation to claim it was a male’s name. However,they also mentioned what time they will be getting off the next day. That night, he was in one of his moods and didn’t want me to “mess” with him. I got upset and we had a mini-arguement in the morning. Then, I didn’t hear from him for the rest of the day. After seeing that the texts continued after my first confrontation (the first day) I wrote down the number the second day of texts. Anyhow, when he refused to respond to me the next day (the day he asked when she got off work) I decided to call her “playing a telephone silicitor” to just see if her name was in fact the “girl” name that he claimed was the “husband” or ex’s name. Anyhow, when I asked for her, using the girl name, she responded “this is she” I did my speal and she said no thank you and we hung up. So. . . it looks like he lied! Anyhow, I had anoter confrontation and he stuck with his first story even though I finally just gave him the info I had.

    In a follow-up conversation he mentioned that he is interested in private investigation and will be taking classes for it and then insinuated that he was practising his skills with the girl from the text message and that “job” isn’t complete yet. From what I understand, he isn’t allowed to discuss this with me because of confidentiality but basically he leads women on he says looking to see if they “would” cheat.

    I think I already know the answer. . . . but is there anyway he is being honest with me at all? Also, what do you think is the issue with his little girl and ex-wife? Please post your comments and any advice you have, I appreciate it.

  10. Hello everyone, I really have appreciated reading everyone’s comments on this site even though a lot of them make me feel sick to my stomach. I am a 26 year-old pharmacist who met a Marine online 2 months ago. After meeting in person, we immediately hit it off, went on a couple of dates and then he had to leave for one month of training in Yuma. Before he left he told me that he really liked me and while he was there he e-mailed/called me every chance he had. He came back this week, and he told me about how he would be gone in June and July and then November and December for training. He’ll be going to Iraq in January 2009. He’s been in the Marine Corps for 7 years and he doesn’t plan on getting out until 2013. From day one, he’s talked about how he knows he will have to get out of the Marine Corps to start a family. He is everything I’ve ever wanted in a man-he is so positive and encouraging, he always sees the best in me, he loves to just hear me talk and we share a passion for being active and pursuing physical activities. I’ve been single for almost 3 years now, because I’ve been hurt really badly before and I’m still looking for the one. I honestly don’t think I’m strong or patient enough to have a marine boyfriend deployed to Iraq, but at the same time he is such a great guy. I normally am not like this and I know this is really early to be thinking so far ahead, but at this point I think I’m in pretty deep already and feel like I’ll get hurt either way because he is a Marine. If I’m afraid and try to protect myself I will be sad for giving up on such a great guy, but if I have a relationship for him I’m not sure how well I can handle it when he is away. Ultimately, I know the decision is mine, but I would appreciate any words of wisdom that anyone can offer. Thanks.

  11. Ok, all of you are making me extreemely sick to my stomach!!! I know there are exceptions to all of your rules. I am currently engaged to a marine. We were highschool sweeteharts and completely inseperable. I was really stupid and left him to do my own thing my senior year of highschool. He waited for me for 2 years, while I did my thing. Even his best friend told me that he tried to hook him up with girls and couldn’t because he refused to hook up with any of them. (mind you this is when we were not together and I broke his heart( which is the most regretable thing I have ever done in my life) Anyways we started talking again and now are engaged. All i have to say is that they are not all bad. I have been in really bad relationships before, but I KNOW he will not ever cheat on me. Now if someone disagrees with my point of view could you please let me know why

  12. Just the “bare bones” girls.
    I have been married to a Marine Officer for over 6 years. Upon marrying a Marine, I left a professional mid level career. I resigned from my 6 digit income with reasonable medical insurance to being labled “Dependent.” I found that the provided medical care was “Not the best in the World” and even had difficulty obtaining customary maternity care. My career was not portable as “pink collar” workers can find portable jobs, never the less, they will not be expecting a pension. Placing my faith in a man to honor cherish and financially support me for life is a “huge” risk. It is like placing all of your eggs in one basket. A monitor that could care less about your life will send your husband anywhere, anytime and often unaccompanied. The reality is you will be a single parent frequently. You are expected to just smile like a fool and take it. It is the same situation with each move, childcare and housing are not readily avail. You may find yourself living in a less than desirable area. You will be lucky to even find temporary lodging. After about 5 years of the same repeating predictament, I began to look around me and realized that I did not have anything in common with most of the women, as most married just out of high school or college. The statement made earlier stating that many women just share a pay check is a valid point within reason. The present state of being a military wife is oppressing. I will soon be ending my marriage so that I have a future for my children, even knowing my children will never live with a biological father. Visitation will be annually if even that frequent, but at least they have a chance to have a “father figure.” My husband did cheat on me a number times, however, I did not. He was often ordered away 12 months or more unaccompanied. I was the real deal -Always Faithful.

  13. I need some help here.. I have been datind a Marine man almost a year and a half or more.. found out on may 08 his married and has 2 girls.. i got prego last summer 07 and lost my baby.. he came back on march 12 from okinawa for some clases in Quantico and i got prego again… he got me aplace to live w/my two kids… but before he left back to okinawa i lost my baby again… to much stress he kept telling me he was going to get a divorce becuase he was not happy w/his wife..the fact that my children loved him and hurt them emotionally he lied to all of my fam. and had going on a dobble life… now im stuck here having to pay bills and he said its over … that she wont give him the girls so he will stay w/her.. but his wife dont have a clue about our affiar.. it’s a very long story to tell .. but i wanna know what i can do.. because its not over, i will not let no more men go on hurting women and treat us like SHIT..

  14. I don’t know where to even begin after reading the comments from some of these women…Every marine is different, and I’m sorry to those of you who did not find the right one. Maybe you shouldn’t just be evaluating the behavior of your ex-husbands/boyfriends, but also yours. It takes two to break up a marriage.

  15. In _Conduct Unbecoming_, Randy Shilts provided evidence that a surprising number of men and women in the volunteer armed forces are gays or Lesbians, and of course closeted. Why would they sign up despite the still-daunting disincentives? One reason might be that one is not comfortable around the opposite sex and therefore finds the relatively all-male or all-female nature of military life congenial. Another might be that a young person finds his own tendencies worrisome and expects that the toughness of military experience will “cure” him. It follows that those driven by the latter motive might join the Marines, whose program is reputedly the toughest of all. Marines are known for attitudes and displays of particular machismo.

  16. Here is the flip side of the story, the “Marine beware”. I am 33, a SSgt and married to my high school sweetheart. We have been best friends ever since ever since and my life is to be a loving husband, daddy, best friend, and Lover. She has said that through time and life experiances, (drill instructor duty, war, deployments, whatever) that I have changed. And all though she “loves me” she is not in Love with me. So she, and my beautiful children are all gone. She just packed them up one weekend and drove off with them. We are getting divorced, long distance no less. I have no life now as a father, rather I have been reduced to paying bills and being a phone call. I am not living so much as am am exisiting right now. What went wrong?
    To late for me now, but had I never been married she could not have crushed me so.

  17. I actually met a marine in December of 2007. Started talking with him and ended up having sex with him. I then later found out he had a wife and a baby on the way. I then told her about him cheating after he kept seeing me for a while. She knew everything. He told me he loved me and that he was only with her cause of the baby. Not to long ago its Sept 2008 he told me he used me this whole time. Its been almost a year now. Ive been talking to quite a few of my friends, some who know him others who dont about seeing if I should turn him in. This isnt the first time he has done this to his wife. He has cheated on her 18 times in two years. They got married in 2006, he cheated on her twice when they were together. I dont think he is a good person for what he has done and I think I might have to be the person to do something about it. I have proof and I have talked to a police sargent about everything along with quite a few of my friends and they all believe I should turn him in. I wanted to see what other people think about this. And I also have a question, if i turn him in who do I go to and would I get in any trouble for being the other person? Please let me know.

    Chelsea Jones 19/7/NC-Camp Lejeune
    IDK how much I will check this site so email me at

  18. All of these stories are sad, and just discouraging. I feel bad for any decent marines out there because whoever reads all of this probaly wont even give them a chance.
    I work at a walmart and about a month and half ago two marine men came there. One of them stopped and asked me for help with something and said” just kidding” and introduced himself and read my name badge. Then told me he just wanted to find a reason to say something to me b/c he thought i was pretty. Then 2 weeks later i seen him again with the same man but he didnt say anything, then again i didnt either. I paid no attention to him so i dont know if he seen me or not. I didnt want to seem like one of those women who “throw” themselves at men in the service. I hear alot about women like that.

    Some people , like my friends, try to say, “oh, he was trying to get some” or he’s probably married”, and ” those are the ones you need to watch out for, they are crazy”. I just want to know why would they say those things?

    Is it possible that he came from a base near by?Theonly place im aware of is the Army National Gaurd Next doo&recruiting office down the street. I was looking foward to seeing him again but, reading these has kind of put it to a halt. Plus, the fact that he didnt say anything to me the last time and the factthat i have no idea where he came from.

  19. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years now and met him in high school he joined the marines a year later and cheated on me almost 2 years later and didnt tell me until 8 months later.I am 21 now and he is now 23 ,i am crushed between giving him all my trust or jst breaking it off. He recently got back from his second term in iraq, he seemed cool when i was around him but he doesnt have leave ,only weekends off but every day wont talk to me for more than 5 minutes.I told him tonight i insist something is not right and he needs to tell me and all he said is theres nothing and to just relax but he hasnt even called me after atleast 10 text messages.I told him i feel like he doesnt like me n e more and to tell me whats going on and he just tells me theres nothing to tell.I feel as a
    “loving” boyfriend he should have no problem calling me up and saying babe i love you not just like and ive just been tired or mad or whatever.Am I right?

  20. Mindy,
    Depending on what kind of guy he is, he could just be trying to get some or may just be a really nice guy.What I can tell you that i should have noticed a long time ago is i had another friend from highschool who joined the marines and was the ugliest and sweetest yet extremely shy guy.After he joined the marines he became cocky and seemed like he thought he was the shit and cheated on his girlfriend right away,he has a new one but i havent followed up on them for a year.My boyfriend on the other hand was always a jerk but always shy.Now hes not shy when hes with the guys.So just a warning,you might wanna stay away while you have the chance unless he shows up numerous times and actually shows interest then he might just be one in a million thats actually a nice marine.But do not look for him!

  21. well i am 17 now and will be 18 soon i started dating my boyfriend about a month ago he has just joined the MARINE CORP he seems to take the relationship fast i understand because we have limited amount of time to be together because he will go to boot camp in January then he has 10 days leave after he will go to the sandbox. a lot of the things i have read make me feel sketchy but some make me feel sorry for the many MARINES and their wives or rather ex-wives i understand it must be difficult but when i think of what the marines go trough when they are deployed i understand why they cheat i understand the feeling of being lonely and wanting some one there i have never gone so far as to have sex with another man while in a relationship but i am not innocent of cheating but truth be told it is hard to be alone after having being left behind four time because someone moves makes me appreciate the fact that my boyfriend wants to stay with me despite the distance i feel that i can be strong because i have been left so many times

  22. Okay girls listen up and listen up good-Marines are human beings and screw up just like you and I and it has nothing to do with them being a Marine! I know lots and lots of great Marines that are great men and I have known Marines that are the scum of the earth. These guys are human beings and for some reason we seem to put them on this grand pedestal that when they do screw up we are ready to stone them to death. For those of you who want to turn in the married cheaters to their commands-think about this long and hard before you do because from what I have heard is that they literally have to catch you in the act meaning his thing in your thing for him to get in trouble. For you young girls-good lord you have plenty of time to find a husband-21 is too young to get married live your life and have fun.

  23. No, marines are NOT LIKE US! Maybe you, but most of the girls… no. Just go hang out around Camp Le… in NC or Camp Pent… in CA PLEASE! I know wives that fly out their and watch their husbands cheat! Everyone of them.. The world owe them… well, the marine corps owe the women. Oh and for those of you who would like to find some of your hubbies… go to lots of your NEVER CHEAT SWEET MARINES ON THERE! lol

  24. Ok… I am wanting to join the Marine corp. And I do have some things to say about this… Though I am not married, or have been in the service, or deployed, It is the matter of trust, picking the right person at the right time and at the right place… Plain and simple. Just because a man/ woman joins the Marine corp. does not mean they will be a cheater or abuser. I live in a small town and many of the different services r frowned upon plain and simple. People can bag on them all thye want… But the truth of the matter is that 9-10 divorces or cheatings happen because both aint giving 100%. Its sad but its the way the world is. I know men in the in each of the services and they have been faithful to the end!!! They want to be home, they want to see their families, heck alot of them signed after being married and kept the same values after all the hardships!!!
    A couple Marines have been deployed to Iraq and different areas and guess what? I ask them what their favorite thing and most important thing is in the whole wide world is and guess what it is? THEIR FAMILES!!!! They keep pics in their wallets, their lockers, they write them, all they tell their buddies is how much they wish they were home with them and their buddies r the ones partying.
    The ones that party, have fun, drink alot, go to strip clubs, they do it because thats the scum they r… Many were like that before the services came into play and now they just have the chance to be away from everything and be the sick perverts they r.
    I will tell u another thing. 3 marines r from where I live and guess what else… They all have been faithful… And some others that joined the ARMY AND NAVY… They have cheated, abused, been meaner than hell and guess what? Most of them were that way in H.S too.
    Don’t tell me the Corp. makes them that way. I may join but guess what? Its to keep my future fam safe from terrorists. The Marines r the best at it!!! And if u think that my reasons r going to change just cause I joined they r not.. Its called having Morals, trust, and willingness to be selfless not selfish and giving both ways to the corp. and ur fam.
    And I got a ? for all of u? Have u ever made a mistake? Have u drank alchohol and not flirted or gone a littleo far? If u were a partier too u have 0 room to talk. Gaurantee u and ur spouse were both boozers and have something to hide… DO NOT BLAME THE CORP. EVER FOR UR SO CALLED LOYAL SPOUSES ACTIONS. WHEN U GET HURT U GO INTO DENIAL AND U HAVE NO ONE ELSE TO BLAME AND U SAY ITS NOT U, AND U DON’T WANT IT TO BE UR SPOUSE, SO U BLAME THE CORP. THATS BULL****

  25. I just wanted to know if a marine could get in trouble for being with a woman who is getting a divorce. She has already filed and served the “husband” and is seperated. I just want to know if the marine is going to get in trouble for “seeing” a woman who is legally seperated from another marine. Thanks. If you do not know then please just keep to yourself.

  26. Hi,
    So, i thought things with my husband and i were great. I just moved home because he was supposed to be getting deployed this month..turns out he wasn’t getting deployed so we were in the process of moving me back down there. Two days ago i found out he was cheating on me. I had no idea, he was perfect as can be..or so i thought. I can’t even look at him again.. i know some people would tell me to forgive him and try to work it out but we said vows and i put everything i had into this marriage and can’t forgive him for not doing the same. i don’t hate him but our marriage is over. i also quit school at a good university to move with him, and my parents who were supporting me will no longer talk to me. I have gone back to school and will be graduated soon enough and able to support myself fully. I hate asking anything of him and after the divorce is final i don’t want to have a penny of his money..but i don’t see how its right for him to get all of the BAH and use his money to take out another girl that he is cheating on his wife with. also, the woman he is cheating on me with is a marine who works in his unit so i know if i contacted anyone in his office it wouldnt do me any good. how would i find out who his command is that i should talk to? i dont want this post taken the wrong way, i don’t want any money for him out of the divorce or to screw him over in anyone. its just that we got into this marriage together, depending on eachother, and i would like it if he could share his BAH with me at least until his BAH gets taken away so that it can help pay for my rent while im looking for another job. If anyone knows a lot about this matter and can give me your email address i would really appreciate it!

  27. This is a list of horrible examples of Marine marriages. YES, there are Marines that cheat! There are also civilians that cheat. I won’t defend the idiots that get married with no intention of honoring their vows, but you have to understand that a marriage in the Marined Corps is always going to be more difficult than a civilian marriage. I personally hate the cheaters and the liars in the Marine Corps, but there are alot of good guys in there too. So, people, arm yourself before you walk in to a Marine Corps marriage, understand what it’s going to be like. You’ll practically be single half the year or more with only telephones or internet to communicate to your spouse. There will be the good times too though, like that first embrace when returning from Iraq, you really learn to appreciate what you can’t have.

    That being said, if you’re having trouble with getting a divorce or getting a hold of your cheating spouses command, go to his unit’s website and call his batallion/squadron Sergeant Major, this can be found in the base telephone directory or a list of units here . I really do suggest that you give him a chance to do it properly though to save you both face, time and money. When a marine is charged with adultery he/she can be sentenced to a year in military jail and relieved of all pay and get a bad conduct discharge. Now if you have children and you want to get out of the marriage without going on welfare, file civily and attempt to get child support, all the while don’t mention anything about adultery to his command unless necessary (so you can both get the money you need to make it through this rediculously painful process).

    @Not telling:
    Can a Marine get in trouble for seeing a seperated but not fully divorced spouse of another Marine (or anyone for that matter)?
    Yes, technically there is a law against it and the reprocussions are not far from adultery.

  28. I am thrilled to hear that when a women is married to a marine and is cheating on a her husband with a fellow marine that there is a law against it and reprocussions.

  29. Wow! It’s a little depressing to hear that marines cheat so often. First off, I was a marine. That’s where I met my soon to be husband. I got out, he reenlisted. I did not have a problem with fidelity when I was in, and I had male marines throwing themselves at me, but that’s just me. But I didn’t see any male marines having women throw themselves on them. They normally have to go out looking to cheat to find someone. Male marines are macho idiots. If you girlfriends at home have ever sent some kind of sexy naked pics to your boyfriend or husband…trust me.. everyone in his shop has seen it. Aside from their childish ways…they are not all bad. I know a lot of marines cheat, but the ones that do probably already planned on cheating when they got with you. I think with have to stand your ground. What they can do too. They always think that they deserve special treatment because they’re going/were/are to Iraq. Don’t give it to them. Ladies, you will always have to fight to have them view you as an equal. I’m not defending the bad ones, because there are a few of them and some of the things I’ve heard directly from these marines mouths about their girlfriends/wives are horrible. However, there are good ones. There are faithful ones….maybe even a little more than you would think.

  30. I was a single mom pursued by a marine for 6 years. I finally said yes but he changed the way he treated me our FIRST night as husband and wife. I went from “the most loving woman in the world” to “less than a whore.” About a year later (which was a hell I never knew existed) I came across paperwork that documented that he had already been married seven times and there were several children he never told me about. When confromted there was the usual yelling, name calling and threats.
    This man is a narcissist, pathalogical liar, sociopath but he thinks that because he’s a “marine” he has no faults and because he’s a “marine” he’s a great guy, and because he’s a “marine” there’s a place for him in heaven.
    Ladies, most marines are immature little boys with malformed consciences and training in the corps aggravates these defects to evil conclusions. What’s the point of being the best killing machines in the world, supposedly fighting for freedom, when they destroy the most sacred and valued relationships in the world, wife and children?
    We divorced after two years, which was his standard marriage commitment time. I was left homeless and my then teenage children found other families who took them in. It’s taken me two years to get back on my feet, but all the hardships I have been through are nothing compared to the crazy abuse of being married to a marine.




  32. i should like to say here and now that everyone who is seriously bashing the marine corps…this is ridiculous. i would like you to know that simply because you all have bad experiences with marines does not mean they are all bad…it simply means that YOU WERE MARRIED TO ASSHOLES!!! that has nothing to do with the marines. that would be like saying all trash collectors are sweet honest men…just because you’ve had a particular experience with one does not make them all that way. first off.
    secondly, i want you all to know that TACT and INTEGRITY are important to any TRUE marine.
    tact: means that you can deal with people in a manner that will maintain good relations and avoid problems. It means that you are polite, calm, and firm.
    integrity: means that you are honest and truthful in what you say or do. You put honesty, sense of duty, and sound moral principles above all else.
    so if “your men” didnt exhibit these qualities that’s their own fault. not the marine corps fault. so you all need to get your facts straight.
    third, any man, or woman for that matter, can lie and cheat, narrowing it down to simply the marine corps and saying that they’re more likely to do so is not only ignorant, but rude. so you all need a reality check. stop placing the blame for failed marriages on your ex-husbands or failed relationships on your ex-boyfriends..because you know what, it takes two to tango. so its not all his fault nor is it all yours.

    final point and I’m done…this is ridiculous. there is no need to comment on an article to tell people how badly your life sucks…and how awful your husband was…you want sympathy? see a counselor. don’t group them all together simply because you had bad encounters.
    that’s not fair, it’s not right, it’s ignorant. and it’s rude. didn’t yall’s mommas teach yall anything when yall were little?

    guess not…


    oh, and btw, it takes a strong man to go into the marine corps. they have the HARDEST training. their lives are hell. and yet you women have the audacity to sit here and bitch about them? really? lets see any of you women who are saying they cheat and lie and only saying negative things, lets see ANY of you go out there and do what they do every single fucking day. better yet, lets see you do HALF of what they do. dont even start bitchin like they’re all bad, because they’re not…you just choose the assholes.

  33. It’s funny your all knocking on the Marine corp when the stats of divorce in the military go as follows.

    Navy- 3.4%

    Air Force- 3.3%

    Army- 3.2%

    Marines- 2.9%

    Look i’m not saying your bad girls, but quit trying to scare everyone away from the marines just because you got a bad one…. Then again maybe it was your fault?? I don’t know you, maybe you girls slept around while your Marine was deployed? Maybe there are things your not telling the rest of us? You all sound like you were saints in the relationship so that couldn’t be true… right? Besides if someones not treating you properly be it a civillian or a Marine or an Airman, soldier whatever it’s your own stupidity for staying right? Let’s be logical for a minute, Guys and girls always have excuses for why they stay when they should go…Do you really believe there is only one person out there for you? I would like to debate with the rest of you on this topic, respectfully of course. Please reply 😉


  35. Ok. This is to all those girls who bash marines because of what they did to them.
    1) Civilians are just as bad! its not the marines
    2) YOU CHOSE THEM! have u ever heard of the comedian kat williams? he talks about girls and how they complain about men and its halarious, you chose them.
    Im not saying its right what they did but stop complaining about it on her. My marine boyfriend has never cheated on me and never will, yet my civilian ex has used an abused me and its just as much my fault for lettin him into my heart.

    bottom line, if any guy screwed u over, learn from it and get over it, but dont generalize marines? my cheating ex was a brazilian and i dont say that all brazilians cheat?

    and the girls that are like 16? GROW UP BEFORE U MARRY ANYONE. would u marry him that young if he wasnt a marine? i dont think so.

    truthfully this site has had the most annoying bs sob stories ive ever seen.

    I SUPPORT MY MARINES. u people that generalize them are ignorant. but whatever if u need run your mouths to find others who are in the same position to make u feel secure instead of getting over it and letting it go thats ok….

    OH AND SOPHIA! IDK IF ULL EVER LOOK AT THIS AGAIN. but we have the same story!!!!! 🙂

  36. I need some advice.My husband and I have been married for 4 yrs now with one child together. My husband is active duty military(usmc). He is abusive and an acholic and very dangerous. We both committed adulty so to speak. We agreed to seperate between us and see and we could date other people. Well I found someone that I really love being with and who was so good to me.So i asked him for a divorce asap. He said he agreed. Then he changed his mind and threatened to Kill me if I did. He is the one who picked me up after my husband choked me almost to death and beat the hell out of me. He admitted to beating me,cheating on me etc, his unit did nothing. He even tried to stab my roomate. He has gotten in no trouble and I have got no help. They sent him to mental health for three days. I am no longer allowed to see my boyfriend he was just njpd for adulty. Although my husband slept with my best friend and a fellow Marine from his unit who is married and pregnant and everyone knows. How can he get away with so much? Why wont they help me? I finally made it out. I had to run with my children and leave everything behind. He even had my attacked outside my home where I had to call the mps. Still nothing is done. I really want my divorce and I want it now. Can someone tell me what I can do? I dont want to wait a year I want to be able to live my life and date who I want. He can how is it fair that I cant.Please tell me how I can get my divorce asap.. e-mail me with any advice or help.

  37. Ok let me say this some guys are clueless about woman as well theres a guy that was blinded sided by a woman that was married for 6 years and did the same to her first husband got pregnant took him for what he was worth got him kicked out the Army and now in March 09 3 days after her divorce got married again come to find out she was 4 months pregnant and her first husband got her new husband for adultery and the second child which her first husband that was his wasn’t he is 3 yrs old years old and now he is servicing time in the brig once he gets out he gets a dishonorable discharge and now she is crying cause theres no income coming in. She did this to her self but hurt a good guy in the run of her skem . I feel for both guys honestly. They both lost something they loved and the first husband finding out the 3 yr old wasn’t his baby . Now once the new husband gets out he has to deal with civilian court and that isn’t looking good for him nor her.
    She is under a court order but yet makes every excuse not to do as she is told now social service is involved and she might lose custody of all 3 of her kids by time they get done.

    If you know adultery has been committed state by emailing place where and when things started happening etc.
    Email Jag commanders sergents etc they will listen once you have the facts.

    See whats sad is her mother has done this to many many men 5 girls and the 2 oldest are just like her they lie and cheat to get what they want but only she got caught and got someone else caught as well which is sad.

    They have a site for adultery in the military you feel it out fax it or email it and they go from there you won’t get the outcome unless you are married to him/her or they give you permission to get the outcome.

    Good Luck on all

    The girl that had a baby with a married man you can get him for adultery you have the proof you had a miscarriage .
    Its all in the military adultery site.

    Once again GOOD LUCK

  38. Hey Ty cutter… what is the name of that site and how do we find it… i got a cheater and I think the time has come to set things straight… especially now that he has given me herpes.

  39. Wow… Honestly I just read a few of these messages and it seriously scares me how women can put up with what they do all because they feel they have to. Getting STD’s??? Moving to cali with your kids for a boyfriend that mistreats you? Not leaving your husband after he keeps cheating constantly? What is this seriously??? I am 22 years old and I am married to a Marine who is currently in Iraq. I know that my marriage isn’t perfect, It’s hard especially when he is away. But my husband never disrespects me, supports me with things I want to do and tries really hard to show he loves me. A lot of men use the Marine Corps as some excuse to treat their spouse bad and be a jerk. I don’t show my husband that I depend on him. Yeah sure I need him because I want to, not because I have to and he knows that. I don’t have kids, but being around your husband fighting all the time is only hurting your kids more than you know, Their father can be involved as much as they choose without you staying with them. And believe me, if a parent neglects their child, like if their father used yall no longer being married to not want to see their child, later on, your kid will recognize that and know that you left your husband for a good reason. Don’t ever stay with a man for the kids, it will end up a lot worse. I have known men that have been through a lot and are sweethearts. It’s not about what you go through in the Marines, sure it gets them down and they feel hurt, but a real man knows not to use that against his wife or children. It’s about how you were raised and if your husband was raised well, then he will always be a good man. But if he’s an asshole, then he’s an asshole and that’s all there is to it. Don’t stay with him to make you feel whole. Don’t sit around and wait for him to support you, Get up, go to school, get a good job and work hard to show him you don’t need him, but you want him in your life. If he sees that, He will know that if he messes up, you’re out the door and he won’t do anything to lose that. A man who has a wife catering to him every second who shows she will not make it without him is a disaster waiting to happen, because if he knows you can’t leave him, he will do whatever he wants knowing you’ll be right there waiting for him hand and foot when he get’s home, Sure the lord will be there for you, but sometimes, he wants you to be strong as well. I hope that helped a bit.

  40. ANY Situation can work if the couple is willing to be honest, communicate, have mutual respect and work through any obstacle. The trouble is finding someone that is ACTUALLY willing to do this. Also marriage requires a strong foundation, if your relationship isn’t held strongly together you will clearly crumble as soon as trouble hits. The idea is, hope for sun but be prepared for rain.

    You cant blame the military, they didn’t make these husbands cheat or behave like stupid children. They obviously weren’t ready to get married or just aren’t husband material. I do agree with this article, that a lot of military marriages are rushed due to always being apart or loneliness. My first marriage was to my HS boyfriend, I was 17 when we married because we didn’t like being apart when he enlisted in the army….it was very stupid and didn’t last because he cheated and neither of us were right for each other or ready to make such an adult decision.

    I am now a happily married marine wife of 6 yrs with a son. We’ve had our share of hardships and deployments, but stayed strong and held on to the strong foundation we had with one another and God. We both know we want to spend the rest of our lives together, therefor we make it worth our while and treat each other very well. Why drive someone crazy if you plan on sticking by them? lol.

  41. I have not read all the comments, though the ones I did read were very interesting.

    I am an attorney from Australia, who has been married to a US marine for two years.

    I would like to offer my opinion as to why divorce rates are so high.

    You only discuss the problems of young marines getting married for the wrong reasons, and to the “wrong” person. I believe this is a fallacy – any marriage can be worked on no matter how seemingly mismatched it is.

    The unspoken truth is that being married to a marine can utterly suck. For many marine wives, the whole thing seems like an adventure initially. Until you’re moved away from your family. Until you have to quit your job, and you realise that you cannot get licensed as a teacher/nurse/lawyer etc in the next state you move to. Until you learn how many times marines are told that the Corps is their #1 responsibility. Until you are only ever referred to as a “marine wife”. Until you begin to lose your sense of self, your sense of identity, and all things around you that made you “you”. Many marine wives are suffocated into this lifestyle, unfortunately at the hands of other marine wives who tell you that if you arent involved and entrenched in the military family lifestyle, and the community of military wives, you will “not survive”. I have been told this myself. In addition, while your husband has this amazing sense of purpose and heroism and sacrifice, you have been told to support these ambitions of his, while being unable to pursue your own sense of purpose etc.
    Then to top it all off, a marine gets deployed, and your one anchor to your sense of self, is taken away.

    I think that these things probably contribute to the rate of adultery (and subsequent divorce) more than anything else. No one is willing to say how much being a wife of marine can really suck. Unfortunately when it all becomes too much, I suspect that marine wives who then stray from their marriages, and file for divorce, are the ones considered at fault, because they werent “strong” enough.

    I have been ultra lucky, with a husband who is willing to let me take off and work, and do anything I want to do. Many husbands are not ok with that. I refuse to call myself a marine wife, as my husband doesnt take the label “lawyer-husband” which he also respects. We agree that being a marine, is his job, not mine.

    I have had a great experience with most wives, but I can already see many who have been married just months, becoming unhappy, being moved to places they dont want to go, having to give up their work, and feeling like they’re losing their identities. If the Marine Corps wants to address the rate of divorce, then it needs to address those problems. Thankfully, with career and mobile employment programs and grants for further education for military spouses, it seems to already be moving in the right direction.

    I hope my opinion doesnt offend anyone, but I think the hard truths about this issue need to be explored beyond the simple explanation provided above.

  42. Hello, nine years ago I met a marine in CA while visiting family (I’m from NY), little did I know how that would change my life! I packed up my stuff and my two children and moved to CA with a head full of dreams and a heart full of hope and love. He was pretty messed up in the head, suffered from depression and some issues with alcohol, however, as crazy as it sounds, I got him, I mean I understood him and always put his needs before my own. It was the first time I really found myself loving someone that much! We had an amazing two years, with it’s ups and downs but nonetheless happy. He then recieved orders to move out of the state and my world came crashing down. I would visit and we were constantly in communication. On one of my visits, he asked me to move in with him, but something told me he wasn’t ready and was asking because he thought he had to. It was never spoken again, I moved back to NY and we kept in contact on and off until soon it was over! Years later I married and and divorced. I sent him an email that said “hello, thinking of you.” To my surprise I checked my e-mail the next day where I found a loonng message that basically said he wished he could of given me everything I had deserved and that although he was married, he could never get me out of his mind. We tried to see eachother twice, but it never happended. Now I know exactly who he married, she would stalk him and I was a witness to this on varios times during my visits to him, needless to say she got her man and married him. They have really never been happy or at least he hasn’t. They have a 2 year old child now and he was recently deployed. He contacted me and has basically said that we have wasted so many years and that he loves me and wants to make me happy and in all reality I feel the same way, but
    1)He’s still married 2)We haven’t spoken about a divorce, truth be told I don’t know if he’s even thinking about it and 3) he has a son that I know he loves and I wouldn’t want to be the one to take him away from him or get him in any trouble with the marine corps. I’m torn, I love him, always have, should I give that love up?

  43. i have been with my marine for 2 years now and were getting married in 10 months… you all should stop crying and bi***ing about the marines, they go through alot of stuff, im sorry to the families that the guy/girl cheated yes its wrong and he/she can get into alot of trouble they will get an NJP for it… go to a marrage counselor and see what your options are. trust me it gets better

    god bless and happy holidays

  44. I have known my husband, a marine for 10 years, married 4, we have 2 very young babies. My husband was wonderful at first, but once we tied the knot and moved in together, (far away from both our families) he changed, DRAMATICALLY. The man I married was no longer there. It started out with him calling me names for no reason, joking around, then to every time I asked him a question he would respond back soo rude and with an attitude. He would go out and leave me home alone, and thought it was ok to chose friends over his own wife.

    When I was pregnant with our son, he was as total a****le through the whole pregnancy. I was sooo sick, and literally on my death bed with my son, that they hospitalized me and took my son early via c-section.. My husband was soo cold to me. All he cared about was if our son was ok. He cared less if I lived through it. he would yell at me, while I am literally dying in the hospital, needless to say he upset alot of nurses and my mother, they even asked if i wanted him removed. Once my son arrived he was playing the mom role, and everything i did was wrong, after 2 weeks he decided and told me he don’t play house, so that told me we were on our own, I became soo attached to my son and soo protective of him. my husband only had anything to do with him when it was convenient for him. He is soo rough with our son, I can’t stand it, he thought our son needed to be a man, and I kept reminding him that he was only a baby!
    Then when my son was 5 months I found out I was pregnant again. WOW..Through out that pregnancy things got worse, I went though counseling by myself cause my husband would not do marriage counseling, he had too much pride he told me, and refused to let people tell him how to live his life.
    At about 7 months pregnant, my daughter dropped, and from that point on I was in and out of the hospital with a messed up pelvic, she fractured them. i couldn’t even walk, literally, he didn’t care he was too busy running around with his other Marine buddies, and drinking. I had to have my mother come in to help me take care of my son. Needless to say, I also gave birth to my daughter early..via c-section because I was extremely sick.




  45. hi my name is michael im 18 ive enlisted in the marines and im dating this girl for 5 months weve been child hood buddies and we are really good together, hardly fight, and have alot in common. however my girlfriend thinks if we plan on staying together we should get married before i ship to boot in september, my parents say we should wait after my first four years. the problem is her and i disagree with my parents but i want to do the right thing soo bad and not have any trouble that i dont need. my girlfriend and i would like to get married in june before i ship so she and i can have a few months of being a regular couple before it becomes a marine couple and we would be together almost a year in our relationship. my parents on the other hand disagree and say thats too soon and it would end in disaster. i would just like to know which is right, i want to marry this girl but i dont want to ruin anything. if anyone has answer please tell me.

  46. Ok ppl Ihave read all of your comments and stories. You want advice just ask me. I HAVE SEEN AND BEEN THROUGH IT ALL! I know how the one side may be hurt,bitter, or angry because of what they have been through. Also, how the other side feels about bashing marines. Truth is every situation has their simularities and differences. When I get the chance I will comment on each. Until then try not bash each other for your feelings. Everyone has an opinion, build up!! ENOUGH WITH THE THIS AND THAT MAKE ME SICK

  47. To SOO HURT- Yours is the situation where you get the command involved. Sometimes yes it makes things worse money wise. But if he is already not helping you and you want out the command can be your best friend. A- He gets extra pay specifically for dependants. B- If you don’t live in base housing you should be getting at least half his BAH. SOMETIMES a Marine will see how much he is getting and will become selfish. Hit him where it hurts! His pride as a marine and his pocket.

  48. i was with a married girl named kathy tavizon from lynwood and she is married to a jarhead she was living with me before and after her marrige let me tell u she is taking all his money and spending it on stupid shit i told her she is a miltary slut and i slapped the shit out of in the army and i just think u cant trust a bitch especially if u r in the service .god bless those dumba azz jarheads!

  49. I dated a Marine that used the Military to cover up lies: no car but used a rental and said he saved money that way because of so much travel, no cell phone for same reason. I am not in the military so, what did I know? In In 2007 he showed up and announced he just got married. I was SHOCKED and angry since I was with him 10 months prior. I sent him away and he insisted on being friends and telling of his wife’s inability to “give” herslf sexually and she couldnt wait to get it over with. He was in and out of my life til recently. I found out he was actually married 10 years and has 2 kids. The lies he kept up with caught up with him and I told his wife after some investigation. It took a while to find her. Turns out she has known of previous cheating and I hope she plans on leaving. She thanked me for the truth. She has given him chances before. she is dependeent on him and doesnt work outside the home. I found out by my work experience with the military that this is common behavior. I wonder how many women are out there with a broken heart over having been lied to by a military person? I know i COULD have this guy Court Marshalled but his wife begged me not to so he can provide for his Kids. I am torn and would like advise ONLY from those who have this experience. Either from a wife who left a guy like this or a woman who fell for the same trap I did. By the way Marine wives, these guys are calculated and use thier “time” away to play you. Perhaps the Military should add into their cirriculum of classes some type of awarenes of what the punishment would be if they play these games with civilian women. Im willing to step up publicly if I get enough testimonies. There should be laws against any man OR EVEN WOMAN who mess with people’s minds and hearts while using the military to cover these lies.
    After the initial shock wears off from finding out the lies, I became depressed, couldnt sleep, or focus on the job,loss of appetite, anger, disgust, hurt, mistrust in men and much more. WHO DO YOU GUYS THINK YOU ARE? LETS HEAR FROM THOSE VICTIMS AND TAKE IT A STEP FURTHER! I STILL FEEL COMPELLED TO HAVE THIS GUY COURT MARSHALLED. I WOULD EVEN DO SOME FUNDRAISING TO HELP HIS WIFE GET OUT SOONER SINCE SHE FEELS SO TRAPPED FINANCIALY! who’s with me?

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