Why I Do This Work

My name is Lee Borden, and I help people help each other survive divorce. I added this page to explain why.

My life has been almost freakishly free of divorce. My wife Amanda and I have a 34 year marriage that both of us describe independently as obnoxiously happy. My parents’ 50+ year marriage ended in death. Amanda’s parents’ lengthy marriage ended in death. Amanda’s mother’s lengthy second marriage ended in death. All three of my brothers in the Borden family are still in stable first marriages. Even our extended families are remarkably free of divorce.

In 1991 I met Hank at Parisian where I worked, a couple of months after his marriage. We became close friends. I listened with him, counseled with him, prayed with him, and cried with him for the next four years or so as his marriage deteriorated and eventually ended in divorce. It was my first exposure to the sheer brutality of divorce. I resolved that there must be a better way.

When Parisian eliminated my job in May of 1995, it took me less than two months to hear a calling to help people who are going through divorce. Each day I continue this work I am more confident that this is where I need to be and this is what I need to be doing.

Divorce is a scourge on our society. We must find ways to make divorce either less frequent, or less painful, or both. I applaud, affirm, and appreciate those who are working on the first goal. I am called to the second. There’s a separate page all about why I don’t work to save marriages.

I visit every day with people who are miserable. I help them. I am happy.

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