When a marriage comes to an end, two things usually happen: both spouses get involved in a lot of bureaucratic procedures that are too long and in which they usually end up facing each other, and the children ( if they have any) and relatives get dragged into the confrontation between the two parties in the divorce and end up being just as emotionally stressed as they are. However, all of this is normal and anyone who has been or is getting divorced says that during their separation they were overwhelmed by the paperwork and really shocked by all of the cross feelings that can be experienced when you decide to separate from someone.
Now, just because it's the usual thing doesn't mean it always has to happen the same way, does it? There are a lot of news that couples who are currently thinking about separating should know and take into account before making a series of very important decisions that will change their future and that of their children, so it is not superfluous to seek a little professional external advice to avoid falling into the typical mistakes of a newly divorced.
For all this, we are going to make a small summary with some of the things that any person who is getting divorced should have very present during his process of separation, whether it is in the plaintiff, in the defendant or by mutual agreement. In a divorce there are always problems and it is better to be prepared to try to deal with them successfully.
Things to know about a divorce
In a divorce there are never winners
If you are thinking of starting your divorce process and fiercely hitting your "rival" in court, you better forget about that idea and replace it with a much more realistic one: in a divorce there are never absolute winners or losers. Divorces always involve arguments and agreements to divide property, inheritance, child support, custody, etc. Which makes it totally impossible that both parts win in all the aspects and obtain everything what he wants of the other one; always it will be necessary to give up something and to leave that the other part takes it for the common good of the whole familiar unit.
So, think of having to face difficulties and learn to accept some defeat or other, because there will be it. It is something natural that all divorced people have to go through, so the sooner you get used to it, the better.
Remember that you are divorcing your spouse, not your children
Many people get carried away by the anger of the moment and forget the damage that endless arguments in a couple of parents who are about to get divorced can do to their children. There are many studies that state that the psychological and emotional damage suffered by the children of divorced couples is very great, and that it can affect them for life and even lead them to modify their way of relating in the sentimental sphere in their own private lives.
After all, children are the reflection of their parents, so if during our separation we do not control ourselves and are extremely cruel to our spouse, our children will also be suffering from it. Don't forget that.
Think things through
During a divorce we have to make many decisions and some of them could affect our future forever, so don't try to make decisions in the heat of the moment and without having thought them through before, otherwise you will regret it for the rest of your life. Many people want to end the divorce proceedings as soon as possible, as they are extremely long and tedious, but not because we are in a hurry we should take decisions lightly. Think everything through first and the result will always be better.
Don't believe everything you are told
Practically everyone knows someone who has been divorced and we listen to their advice on the subject because we believe that they will know much more than we do and therefore will be helpful, but nothing is further from the truth. Every divorce is different because every couple is different, so don't try to make decisions based on what happened in other divorces, because it may not help you.
Therefore, forget about the advice of other divorced friends and just let your lawyer and associated professionals advise you before making crucial decisions in your separation process.
Forget the mistakes of the past and focus on moving forward
One of the most common mistakes made by both spouses is to focus on all the bad things their partner has done and to blame them for everything that is happening to them as a marriage, which is not only very toxic and exhausting, but is really useless to move forward in a divorce process.
If you are getting divorced and it is a final decision, the best thing you can do is cooperate with your ex-partner and look for solutions that both of you will benefit from in order to be able to resume your lives separately in a relaxed way and free of toxic thoughts.