Melinda’s Note about Loneliness

I got this by e-mail from Melinda. She has generously agreed to allow me to share it with you.

I’m recently going through a divorce. I was totally able to relate to your advice on loneliness and divorce. I feel that I’m beginning to transcend the worst of it, but the “feeling” sneaks and creeps up on me. I’m over the deep sadness.  Now, it’s just sad.  (but I use it as a cue to remember how many blessings and good things there are in life).

I have a very supportive family.  They’re helping me over and beyond.  They’ve provided me with a heavenly haven to heal.  Helped me with so much. They’ve arranged for and sent me to career counseling, yadayadayada.  I am so blessed and grateful.

So why do I write to you? I don’t like talking about loneliness.  When I’m with my loved ones and friends, I don’t want to get them down by talking about the negatives. I read voraciously and as you’ve said, the good thing about divorce is, you really get to know yourself better than you ever have. I am searching. With my daughter grown and off to college and no husband, it is time for me to fulfill my life purpose for this phase.

I don’t mean to sound “out there,” but it’s as though the universe is converging on me. The friends I’m meeting, experiences I’m having and the coincidences are mind boggling. I feel I’m going through spiritual and pre-enlightenment exercise/ homework.

I am heartened by the insight that it takes 3-4 years to overcome the loneliness and longing. The most difficult time of my day is in the morning when I awake.  I can’t lounge in bed and enjoy the relaxation of sleeping in.  If I don’t get up, the negative thoughts consume me. I guess I shouldn’t complain since that period is relatively short.

Thank you for encouraging your readers to write.  It has helped me to write some of what I’m feeling.

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