Could this be true? Here’s an article in Marine Forces Pacific that quotes the Defense Manpower Data Center as saying the divorce rate in the Marine Corps is 20% higher than that of the general population. Why would that be?
Here are some reasons, according to the article:
First, young marines are subject to the “financial illusion” they will be wealthier if they marry, move out of the barracks, and begin receiving Basic Allowance for Housing, separation allowances, and commuted rations. Actually, however, the extra compensation they receive is almost never enough to support a family, so they are caught by surprise when money troubles set in.
Second, young marines are often eager to leave the barracks, so eager they marry a spouse without making sure the match will last.
Third, military life is surprisingly lonely, so young marines often fail to look for the right one and go for the right now instead. Fourth, young marines often are not mature enough to make a life decision like marriage. The article recommends that any marine considering marriage talk to his or her supervisor first, to make sure there’s not something important he or she is overlooking.
Through MCCS One Source, the Marine Corps offers counseling 24-7, including premarital counseling when marines request it.
I agree with the reasons they have posted but they have failed to include the strain that
marines with post war stress syndrome inflict on their families and themselves. Sure they
offer counselling (really a pep talk) regarding adjusting to life after the war but it is
not nearly enough as there is no one on one for them. The pride that they have does not
allow them to ask for help in fear of being labelled as weak. Now here is a reason
that they have failed to publicize.
I AGREE ALSO WITH THE FEW REASONS GIVEN. BUT LETS NOT LEAVE OUT, INFEDELATY. AND
AND ALMOST AS BAD, LIES. YOU KNOW WHAT A FEW I HAVE HEARD.
” WHAT HAPPENS IN ” VEGAS, STAYS IN VEGAS” MENTALITY. THEY GO ON MISSIONS,
THEY GO FOR TRAINING, THEY GO TO WAR, YOU NAME IT….AND THE LIES AND CHEATING ARE
QUICK TO FOLLOW.
I HAD ONE MARINE TELL ME ITS CALLED ” GOING BOWLING” OR ” PLATOON TRAINING” WHICH
MEANS ITS PARTY TIME. I’VE SEEN THE MAKE SHIFT BUNKERS WHERE THE CHEATING STARTS.
I was married to a marine for 10 years! Its also hard when these young married marines are out numbered by their unattached marines who spend all their off time drinking and getting well you know… it’s another ego trip for them. Plus they have women literaly throw themselves on them. The married men with all the points listed above get wraped up in it. And it’s cool to cheat…lie..leave your women at home..They are frat boys who never grow up. The marines is litaerly one big frat party. Every married couple I meet has been divorced or on their way and it’s 90% due to infedelaty. Plus honestly despite what people hear…the marine corps frawns on marriage..the old saying is true..If the marine corps wanted you to have a wife they would fo issued one…It’s not a place for marriage.
My husband came home from Iraq, we got pregnant, then I found out that he started a relationship with a girl he met in Spain, making arrangements to have her move to the states, when I found the emails and pictures of them together on the computer, he decided he didn’t want the marriage or the baby. He proceded to move to the barracks, cancel our lease so now I’m in a high risk pregnancy trying to look for a job, because he didn’t want me working while we where married so we could start a family as well as being homeless in less than thirty days… The only thing the Marine corps will do is give me 395 dollars for the household bills. Tell me how that is fair. I lost my husband could loose my baby and soon to be homeless. The marine corps doesn’t care but they pushed to have me and my family move down here when we got married.
To the women who is who is about to have a baby and be homeless, this is for you.
Did you go to his command? Do you still have photos and letters of their involvement? I f so go to his command Head quaters bldg. Talk to the Sgt maj. ONLY HIM. Lay it all out for him. He will Help you. I past through a similar event. You rate 1/2 of bah. You might even rate more for having his baby. Do not talk to the men in his duty section. They will protect there own. Remember if you break the chain shit will role from the top of the hill doward. You have to start from the top. Your husband might be required to pay you back bah only if the divorce hasnt gone through so you can contest to pro long your divorce. Please take care of your self and your baby. You will get through it. YOUR NOT ALONE.
I was married to a marine for a little over a year. And now i’m going through a divorce. I don’t even know where to start. He hasn’t paid me anything since August when I left and I think that he is suppose to. I’m scared that I am going to call the wrong person. If any of you know where to start please let me know. I really need some help.
my husband wants a divorce can i request with his command to get counsling. my husband isnt giving me any answers on why he wants a divorce. and he refuses councling. he just got back from iraq this year. we have a 11 month old and a 2 in a half year old. please help
You can ask that your spouse be ordered to undergo counseling, but it’s unlikely a judge would order it. I can’t speak for his command; you would know more about that than I would.
GEEE…everything being written is negative towards the Marine. I wonder WHY? Todays Marine is no different than his Vietnam counterpart. What is different is the woman he chooses to marry. Oh…she existed back then, but not in the numbers she does today. The woman who sees her Marine huisband as a paycheck, so she can continue to live a single lifestyle while he’s deployed. Let’s not put all the blame on the Marine. It still takes two to make or break a marriage. SEMPER FI, Marines!
OH PLEASE, my husband is a marine… please the women they marry… I actually have a business that catches cheaters… you are a cheater VetDame… or are you the one who goes around posting comments…oh as long as my husband tells me it’s okay… I have yet to meet a marine that didn’t cheat! There is a reason the men in the marines are there… they lack respect for others… it has to be demanded… they don’t fit in anywhere else… one troop went and upped himself just to get away so he could take a year away from him wife and five children so he could cheat… I have principles and values.. you don’t know what those are, that’s obvious. If you don’t want to respect the person who loves you and you chose to marry, THEN GET A STUPID DIVORCE. It’s that simple… but take responsibility for those lives you affected… You can tell a good man by the way he treats his ex-wife… and since we are talking about he marines… make that plural… wives! On troop I know, was/is married had a baby… but within a month of their childs birth… had two more with two other “Marine Troops”. One at camp LeJuene and the other Pent… so please, you people who make excuses for others are only trying to validate.. your short comings. NOW TO THE WOMEN WHO CATCH YOUR SPOUSES CHEATING.. GO THE THE SGT MAJORS AND THE TROOP WILL BE ARRESTED AND THROWN OUT OF THE MILITARY!!! HEY THEY DON’T GET TWO THOUGHTS ABOUT ANYONE BUT THEMSELVES… GO FOR IT. I’m sure your marines act like all the others when they get caught… beat you up, spit in your faces, pull your hair out… etc… ya, big men… they won’t pick a fight with one of their buds but they’ll pick on a 110 lb wife any day… and lie to boot. So, tell the boy, give me the money and take responsibility or have him arrested… and go to myspace and post his phone records and the pics and everything… As for VetDame… when you learn the real meaning of respect and the meaning to life… go and read Stephen Covey’s 7 habits of highly effective people. AND PLEASE A PAYCHECK… YOU ARE VERY UNEDUCATED… A MARINE PAYCHECK… LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU SEE ONE … HA HA HA… YA IF I WANTED TO LIVE ON WELFARE WHY WOULD I MARRY A MARINE?
My boyfriend is in the marines and is currently stationed in Japan. He is training to go to the philippines soon. Therefore he won’t be home till December of this year (2007) because he wants to be here for the holidays. We talk almost every single day during his lunch if he gets one and after work. I just read all of these comments on marines cheating and I feel like if I marry my boyfriend, which will be in two years when I finish college and get my degree to become a teacher, that is what will happen to me. The truth is, I believe him and the love he says he has for me. But are 100% of these men cheaters? I think if a woman has an education and a good head on her shoulders, a man doesn’t feel as dominating. If a woman shows that she relies on her husband and can not fend for herself, he will take advantage of that and cheat on her or abuse her because he will feel that she depends on him too much to leave. It’s never too late to go to school and depend only on yourself. Don’t take the easy way out by letting him support you. We as women have options now. So when you have your education and kick ass job and one day decides he wants to leave you, you can say fuck it…I can suppport my kids and be happy without him. Now a days women are more persistant with sex so that means more women are persuing your husbands. boys will be boys. But have all your shit together and look good while doing it and he’ll know he has a good thing waiting for him at home and he’ll know if he fucks up, it’s his loss, not yours. I doubt he’ll even think twice. And if he is a jerk and cheats, the Lord has some better planned for you. Let him drown in his own misery.
OK everyone, this is dedfinely not the most positive sight on the web, but it is helpful to those considering marriage to a marine. Just arm your marriage before going into it. Talk to eachother, ask him if he has had these experiences, and if so ask how he will change his behavior to honor you, his new wife, when put into a similar situation again. I have been married to a military man for 14 years and we have 5 beautiful children, and I would not change it for anything. However, I have spent a lot of sleepless nights alone with crying babies missing my husband while he was away defending our freedom. And he has spent a lot of nights up late praying and missing me and the kids. It is very lonely on their end too. We cannot forget this. And they are bombarded with pornaography and women who are more than willing to “help” them through the lonely times. So, pray for them. Call out to the One who can protect your marriage. God designed marriage and he is willing to help and protect it. Call out to Him. He will answer. Maybe not the way you want Him to, but He knows best. Remember some of God’s greatest gifts are prayers He answers, “NO.” God bless you all, and I will be praying for each of you.
ladies i am a active duty marine. first of all i would like to say i am sorry for my brothern out there that have hurt you in one facet or another. now that’s over i will say this. marines are a product of today’s society. men and women cheat in the civilian world so what makes you think the marine corps would be any different. we have the same problems the rest of society has from infidelity, to racism, sexism, and the list goes on and on. unfortunately there is alot of truth to what was said earlier. not to excuse those individuals for what they have done there is another side of this coin. marines have gone on deployment and their kids are calling them another mans name or when they have came back and everything from the wife, kids, furniture, and the bank was cleaned out upon his return. now prior to marrying a marine alot has to be done. me personally it involves quite a bit of honest evaluation of both of the individuals and each other as one. everything has to be put out there and talked about. you might not like what each others view points are and if it is that bad then you know not to get married. if you are thinking of the white picket fence with the house and mini van with two kids a dog american dream….. pump the brakes. this is the real world inside of another world. the marine corps demands alot of the its marines which puts added demands/stress on a marriage. if you don’t know that than either come your senses and adher to it or move on before you sucked into that vacuum because its real. by the way i am married but i waited for a long time prior because of those exact reasons.
To Carmella Perez… I believed as you do…he loves me, he is in Japan… guess what I found in a locked locker my dear?? 3 photo albums of him over in Japan with his “girlfriend”… before you marry him, check his phone records, hire a private investigator, do not, just believe in this man… there is too much to risk. DON’T END UP LIKE ME! And as of today, I just found him …two days after responding to a letter from a counselor that told him that she didn’t feel he was sincere either… he has himself listed again on the Military dating site! as “separated”… one lie after another with the marines. Keep your options open my dear. And watch out for the new lawsuit… the marines don’t think they should split their retirement funds with you after they devastate you and ruin your lives, but you should split yours… it is marital money!… and he wouldn’t have been able to make it if you hadn’t done your part too… you could have also had a better living…but they put all their money away and live off of yours then want to walk away with the whole cake…I SAY, MARINES GROW UP AND SHOW SOME RESPECT!
I have been reading everyones comments and I would like to leave my own. I am married to a Marine not even 1 year yet. We have dated 2 years before we got married. I am 38 years old, I have my own home business and I work 2 other part time jobs, I have supported myself all my life and I am a very independant person. my husband has been divorced twice and has 2 children, both wifes cheated on him while in Iraq, took all of his money cheated on him and left him. Recently he had to escort the body of one of his good friends who died in Iraq. I can never say I understand how Marines feel or know what they are going through I can just be there for mine. I did not marry my husband for money, to be taken care of, to wait to collect insurance money, to act single when he goes away, I married him because I want him to be my life partner, I want him there for me and I will be there for him in good and bad. I want him to know he will always be loved and so will I. But that is now always how it is. My husband has lied to me throughout our relationship many, many times. Now I know he loves me but he does not respect me. My husband is an acholic and so are most of his Marine buddies and their wives. My husband will go on 3 or4 day binges. he will try and drive while drinking so I have to babysit him during these episodes. He at times doesn’t pay the bills and uses the money to drink and during all this he is lieing to me about the stoupidest stuff. I have never asked him to quit drinking but I have asked him to slow down and he tells me he will, and then he hides liquer bottles around the house and drinks when I am at work. And the he tells me he hasen’t been drinking, another lie. When he drinks he is mean, he says I will never understand what he is going through and he is right, but then again he will never know what I am going through by watching a man I love destroy us, himself and his career. I have put up with alot over these three years and I am still hanging in but it is very hard. I have asked him to take me off his life insurance and give all the money to his children. Because that is not why I married him, but I think I am being punished for what his ex-wives have done to him. I think my husband needs help, but in the statement above, they are too proud and don’t want to seem weak, they don’t want help from anyone and all their friends will protect them I know this first hand. I do not believe he is cheating on me but I cant say that in one of his drunken states that he wouldn’t this is a sad life to live beacuse I love him and I want the best for him but I have to give up my self respect to do it and Im not sure that I can. I believe there are women out there that do marry a Marine based upon the fact that they will be taken care of, that is not why I married. I married becaue I am in love with him. I do not need him to support or take care of me, I just want him to love and respect me as I do to him. I have to say I have never been in a situation like this before, and I have never loved this much before, but how much can someone take. I guess I wish he would respect me as much as he respects the Corps. If someone telles you that Marines and civilian husbands are the same….they are wrong!
All of you are just complaining and talking about what you don’t know about. The ex-wives are just as responsible as the Marine 98% of the time. Some are ligitamitly screwed over but most cheat just as much as the men. All in all its a 50 / 50 split on the cheating aspect. I’ve had so many marines lives ruined over wives that think it’s ok to have relations while their men are abroad whether it be fighting the war or just plain deployed. Yes of course some Marines do the same but its a sick society when all we do is blame each other when you get caught and not look at your self. its all good and everyone wants to just pretend they are the victims here but the only victim is the children and in most cases the men. Ya go tell their command and get them in trouble thats the idea. Grow up! i deal with wives calling and telling me some of the most rediculass thing and we try and understand and help but most of the time the issues are caused by both and all we can do is recommend counciling. I just had a Marine try an kill himself because he found out his wife had been cheating on him multiple times why he was deployed and when he returned. He was their on her death bed when she was sick sent back from Iraq by the very command that most of you condemn in these articles. For his sake , No for her sake to help with her comfort and her recovery. But hey we just don’t care thats the idea!! In the civilian world you can tell people until you are blue in the face and it would not matter but in the military the wifes think that they can just ruin careers because they got hurt or they just happened to catch their husbands before they them selfs were caught. It makes me sick that i can not go to a bar or most of my Marines can not go to bar and not be approached by a married wife of a deployed marine. Even the single Marine some of which do take advantage of them I’m not going to lie but i always over hear stories about the weekend adventures. if he cheats then get a divorce or get some counciling and make it work if not then get a job and get on with your life. If you have a child then get what you rate for your child’s sake not for your revengeful ways. The Marine should have to take care of the children but most of the time the woman that are complaining didn’t get the education or jobs they should have while married and now face having to do it on there own with out a pay check and a roof over there head. Scary you betcha but it’s life and it happens every day in the civilian world. and for the paycheck coments for your information we make decent money counting our medical, dental, BAH, Comrats, family seperation pay, danger pay, per diem, and so many other incetives plus our base pay it adds up and if you say you never see your husbands paycheck then maybe you should reevauate your marrage. the paycheck and beifit marriges are out there and there are cirtin weman who live and hang around the major military bases looking for the young vulnerable Marines to take advantage of. Im a GySgt of 13 years and have been married for 14 years with 3 childreen 8 deployments and 4 to the middle east and my pay is good and my marrige is strong oh ya and my income far exceeds my out going bills need i say more…
Marine tracker
this comment is for bmatter. you can you and your husband a big favor by going to his snco and letting him know that you want to get your husband help without jeopardizing his career. the way to do it is, having his snco somehow convince your husband to VOLUNTARILY enroll himself to rehab. see here is the catch. if your husband does it VOLUNTARILY than it doesn’t get recorded as a negative thing. now if he is told to do it or it is made a requirement than it will be followed by all the necessary legal paper stating that. now for the women whom have been scorned. if you were married to a man that was a civilian what would you do, go to his boss. in the civilian world they don’t care and they won’t be fired because the problems in the house. he won’t receive a njp or court martial. what i don’t get is why women attempt to ruin a man’s career. yes understand that you are hurt and that disobeyed the words that meant so much at the time of getting married. trust i understand that. but if you ruin a mans career how is he going to support the kids now? i am just baffled by some womens priorities. maybe an unfortunatley scorned women can answer that for me?
The majority of the Marine Corps divorces are due to the fact that God is not involved in their relationship. My husband is in the Marines, and he is a grunt which happens to be the job with the highest divorce rates. We have a great marriage and see so many divorces happen around us and the problem is most always that these people are Christians and are not centering their marriage around God. For all who say they have yet to see a Marine that hasn’t cheated or they havn’t seen a marriage that isn’t going down the drain you are more than welcome to come and see my husband and I as living proof that it can happen.
If my girlfriend is currently separated, the “divorce” is finalized oct 25th 2007.. her ex husband is in iraq till the end of next year.. is there anyway we can get married?
Only if she wants to commit bigamy. Sorry. I’m curious how you know now about a divorce to be final on a specific date in October. How?
I am appalled to read all the posts of people trying to Force spouses into staying, or crying foul because their Marriages did not work out.It is niether the Corps. faul nor responsibility to fix your Failed Marriag or support YOU. A child by the Marine, is most CERTAINLY a responsibility that the Corps. WILL make sure is taken care of even if the Marine does not.Until YOU raise your hand and take the oath you are NOT owed or guarenteed any pay or entitlements other than what any other dependant rates. Name ANY career or industry in the civillian sector that would do HALF as much, can you? Frankly you should be asamed of yourselves to besmirk the name of the Corps. Men and Woman that die everyday so you can sit at home in relative safety and complain that YOUR Marriage failed.Of course none of it is Your fault, it must be the Corp. and every Marine that has, is, or ever will serve, because we all KNOW that spouses at home NRVER cheat or live like they are single while their Marines deploy, right?Take some personal responsibility and fix your own life.You all make me sick.
I HAVE READ THESE COMMENTS AND SOME ARE LAUGHABLE AND SOME ARE DOWN RIGHT SAD. I AGREE WITH SOME COMMENTS AND SOME I DONT. THE MARINE CORP ISNT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR MARRIAGE.. YOU ARE. MEN AND WOMEN CHEAT. I HAVE BEEN MARRIED 9 YEARS TO MY SPOUSE AND IF HE HAS CHEATED I DONT KNOW.. AND HOPEFULLY HE HASNT. HE HAS BEEN DEPLOYED BUT THE ONE THING NO ONE CAN SAY ABOUT ME IS THAT I LEFT MY RING ON THE TABLE WHEN HE LEFT AND ACTED LIKE I WASNT MARRIED. AND AS FAR AS I KNOW WHEN HE GOES AWAY HE ACTS LIKE A MARRIED MAN. PEOPLE NEED TO REALIZE THE RESPONSIBILITY OF MARRIAGE BEFORE THEY GET INTO IT. BEING A MARINE AND A MARINE WIFE MAKES MARRIAGE HARDER DUE TO SACRIFICES THAT YOU BOTH HAVE TO MAKE. THE MARINE CORP HAS ALLOWED MY FAMILY TO SEE DIFFERENT THINGS THAT WE WOULDNT HAVE OTHERWISE SEEN, BUT IT DIDNT MAKE MY LIFE. I AM A COLLEGE EDUCATED WOMEN WHO HAD A CAREER BEFORE I MET MY HUSBAND AND MAYBE THATS WHATS WRONG WITH SOME OF THE MARRIAGES.. SOME MEN JUMP INTO IT WITH WET EARS.. THINKING THE HOTTIE THEY MET AT THE CLUB IS GOING TO SETTLE DOWN FOR THEM.. AND WOMEN THINK THIS IS MY TICKET OUT OF SMALLVILLE. WRONG!!! WOMEN.. STOP TAKING THESE MEN THRU CHANGES IF YOU WERE JUST AS WRONG AS THEY WERE.. OWN UP TO YOUR MISTAKES TOO..
MEN STOP CHEATING ON THESE LADIES.. YOU PROMISED TO BE FAITHFUL AND THAT MEANS EVEN ON DEPLOYMENT!!
Ok I am so sick of hearing how a college education will help your husband not cheat. A cheating spouse has nothing to do with the other ok. It is not the wives fault that there man cant control himself and it is niether his fault the other way. I have seen many marine wives that have kept themselves up and have educations and it landed them in the same place as the wives who are uneducated and run down by life! Do you really think that person is thinking about reasons why they are doing it when they are no. It has nothing to do with thier spopuse it is inside them. I am going to tell you that it does not help that the marine corps condones that shit either. I have heard of CO tellling their troops “if they are going to cheat use pertection and dont get caught” yeah it happens. Yes there are individual cases on this matter it is not nice to stereotype but if the shoe fits wear it. I am married to a marine for five years now i have not directly had a battle of infedelity but i am not closed minded to say it will never happen to me. These women here who say keep yourself up and get an education. Yeah that will keep him out of the girls pants who is drooling over him while you are thousands of miles away and he is drunk lol nice fucking try! Yes it is important not to lose yourself and live through your husbands career as so many do, but on the same note you are expected as a military spouse to be his personal fuckin cheerleader. It is give and take just as any marraige. It is finding balance. Let me tell you we can all get on here and spout off advice but when it comes down to it you are who you suround yourself with. A majority of amrines start out i wont do that but they get deployed or even placed in units with others they befriend and it is like an old afterschool special its cool and everyone is doing it. To be a successful marine, husband and father you have to have a strong sense of who you are and self-respect and come on now how often do you come across that even in the civilian world. There is only one person you can control and change and that is yourself. I just hate the fact that peple actually have the courage to blame the other spouse for the cheating bastards. That is something the cheating asses have going on with them wether it be insecurities or emotions he dont know how to deal with or just flat out unmoral that is thier fault not the spouse who is chasing his three kids around and worrying sick over him. Dont you love when they call to tell you how sick of sitting around they are and they dont understand why they are even doing theexercise they havent done anything in three days, but you just got done fighting the children to come in the door with groceries and crying children. Then they wonder why doesnt my wife like hearing from me. I am sorry but we are not put here to stroke there needy ego and they are not here to make us feel pretty. I do love my marine but believe it is not the marine i love it is man out of uniform. By the way who ever has the idea that the marines pay and his night and shining armor effects are why women marry them i believe is wrong. It is a decent living but to marry a marine for money ha. And he got me out of small ville to base housing hooray yeah right !!
Civilian life and Military life…Don’t ever confuse the two they are no where near the same. I have been married to my Marine now going on 8 years, and have I had my share of drama. Can I talk to my civilian spouses and they be able to relate to me?? No! Can I talk to my fellow Marine spouses, and they be able to relate to me? Hell YES!!! Yea, I’ve heard my share of stories of spouses running through the clubs and barracks, as well as the Marines. A lot of Marines marry young for security, white picket fence or money. I however love my man to death. We currently don’t have any children together, and not by choice. We got married and took our vows because we love each other. We have an open relationship when were together, on top of the world, living it up!! Now comes deployments and schools. About after the first month I’m losing him, don’t know who this man has turned into. Split personality? Maybe, I don’t know, but I am here to say Hell Yea to the spouses who try and make it work. Thanks for that shoulder to lean on. But the shit needs to STOP. This crap about wives running to commands for this and that, and people thinking its so funny and oh I’ll listen to what you have to say, and get my paycheck for listening but won’t do a damn thing to help you, because what happens within the corps/deployment/blah…blah…blah… stays there, and if you were in the civilian world there is’nt anything their bosses would do for ya. Honey thats why you have a job, and there is’nt civilian jobs like yours. So earn your paycheck, see that the divorce rate in the military is ridiculous, and try and take part in fixing it, instead of condoning the issue at hand. The drinking and cheating and lieing needs to stop from the top down. I do my job at home as well as work a full time job out of the home. Educated/Uneducated, weatlthy/unwealthy, have faith/don’t have faith, I could go on and on I’ve heard it all and seen it happen to a lot of people!! Bottom line is we are a Military Family unlike any other, and if we don’t take a stand and try and fix this issue. Our Marine Corps reputation that so many have fought and died for will run wayside. “Civilians” as so many would like to call already have labeled Marines as Cheaters, liars, drunks, and on and on. Is that really what they need to be remebered as? So open your heart, hear their story and lets try and fix this problem. How bout 0 tolerance for adultery, it is a commandment set by god, we take our vows under god. So stop trying to push him out, and pull him back in. Lead by example, and start making examples out of people. Spouses as well as the Marine!!!!!
I am going to try to put this in the most simplest form possible. Everyone needs to take responsibility for their actions. Yes there are cases (unfortunately so) in which Marines have acted unfaithfully (male and female Marines alike) and it went unnoticed by the individual(s) peers and person(s) they work for. On the other hand those same individuals spouses may have acted unfaithfully as well (at the club and so on). Now on both ends of the spectrum it is bad along with both sides having the mentality as to say what happens on deployment or while the cat is away. . . I am a Gunnery Sergeant and I happen to be married. In both cases it shouldn’t happen but the reality is they do. The Marine Corps is apart of society. The same that happens in society happens here too. That is not an excuse just the facts of the case. The only diffence between the Marine Corps and the civilian world is that we are held to higher standard which means harsher penalties. Example, adultery is confirmed, here comes NJP which results in lose of money and or rank which results in not being able to provide finacially for the kids as he/she once did. Now in the civilian world the consequences are probably nothing because who are you going to tell and what do they care. The Marine Corps cares about image. The civilian world is about profit, period. Couples need to educate themselves about marriage prior to getting married, even with that, that does not make their marriage fool proof. Marriage is a beautiful thing but if you have the American Dream vision you need to wisen up because if you don’t you will get hit hard. Unfortunately, we have these cases in which child support and or unhealthy divorces occur and no one is thinking about the kids. I feel for them.
If all this talk is true then I wonder why Marines use the saying Semper FI!!!! Obviously they don’t live by the saying so maybe they should consider implementing a new saying! Also ladies I’ll tell you what I always tell my marine husband, The problem with the Marine Corps is that there are to many damn men trying to run it they need to get a women in there and change things.
I was dating a man who is a marine. Little did I know he was already married and had 3 kids. Now I have his 4th, which he doesn’t play a part in because he doesn’t want his wife to know. Well it’s his loss because his son is great!
Semper Fi has nothing to do with marriages or relationships. It’s that they will always be faithful to USMC. They take orders, or missions, and do what they have to do. It’s very true, at the end of the day, it’s still YOUR marriage and the USMC has no control over your relationship or your man. And why are there special circumstances for Marines? They are people and sometimes they end up making bad decisions.
My childhood friend is a Marine. I lost contact with him after he moved right before Freshmen Year.Before he left for the service he proposed to his High School Sweet Heart, they had been together for 4+ years. Ironically my BF at the time cheated on me and slept with her for a month or so (small world scenario)he came back around christmas, no one believed the infedelity and they got married. Now she’s preganat, it’s a 50/50 on who’s baby it is and he’s in iraq. It is illegal to divorce a preganant woman in the state of TX. Now she’s living with my ex, they got an apartment together and is STILL cheating! I don’t think it’s the marine that cheats. It’s the women. They decide “Hey! I’m gonna marry him for the wife sallary and screw another guy while he’s risking his life fighting for our country”. I think it takes a strong man to be a marine and put his life on the line day after day but it takes a stronger woman to be in a relationship with one. The divorce courts should be harsher to the wives who cheat. I’m interested to see what will happen in September when the baby is born and what the courts will have to say about the whole situation.
Out of my male friends, most of them are Marines and I have seen both sides. I was dating a Marine Sgt that got cheated on while he was in Iraq. She even had the other guy move in to THEIR house while the Marine was gone and he didn’t move out even though my ex caught on and had her confess halfway through the deployment. He filed for divorce when he got back and also found out she used up all of his money. I don’t know many senior Marines that isn’t divorced or has been cheated ON. But of the boots that I know, most of them are cheating on their gf’s/wifes back home. So as I said, I see both sides and I also just found out that one Marine LCpl that I was dating for some months had a girlfriend back home where he’s from while we were dating. He got married to her just before his first deployment and as far as I know she has NO idea. But I also have friends who does NOT cheat when we go out, regardless if they are dating or married. I think that it is very common with cheagint within the Marine Corps but I’m not gonna blame the Corps for it! Everyone is, like a lot of you has said, responsible for their own actions. Most of the Marines that I know are cheating/ have cheated are very young; 18-23 yrs old and they look up to their senior marines and do what they see them do. As in many male groups like college fraternities!!
To all of you that are dating Marines, what’s the rush of getting married at such a young age? yea, sometimes the guys just want to get out of the barracks..which is just sad, but you as a girl can say no if you’re not sure.
Wait until you’ve been through a lot before you commit for life. And getting married for a paycheck? Um..I’m a student and I get as much a month as most marines I know..and that sure isn’t a lot. (I’m talking about the lower ranks and the young marines now). Many young girls have no idea what they are getting themselves into, how lonely it is when the husband is away on training and deployments and so on. And the men haven’t played around enough before getting married so they do even after marriage!
No, wait until you’re at least 25 and have been through some shit in your life and gotten some experience before you go on and get married. That goes for both the marines and their girls.
Good Luck y’all!
My situation is a little different, I am a civilian ex-husband whose wife left to be with a seargent m.p marine. I wasnt aware that our marriage was is such bad shape otherwise I would have taken some sort of action to work things out. She gave me no warning , I found text messages on fathers day of all days. Well the Sarge and the wife were together little over 2 months before i found out. He was set to deploy to camp lejeune in 1 month from the nas jrb in ft.worth where my wife worked for aafees. They started dating, she fell in love ,booted me out of our home, her life and my daughters ! Come to find out she is pregnat , he refuses to tell her it isnt his although he tells me that it isnt. I was trying to have another child before the shit hit the fan so i’m 99.9 % sure she is carrying my child. Well he says he doesnt want anything to do with her anymore and that he is stepping out of the picture so that we can try and work things out, yeah, real noble sir, just fly in , take what you want , and leave after youve ruined my life and my daughters because now i cant be there for her and she refuses to reconcile, so thanks alot buddy! How easy is it for these “MEN” to have thier way , move on and easliy forget the damge the cause not only to the disillusioned females they fill with hope and but the families who are torn apart by such immature, irresponsible actions, I thought the marines instilled tactfullness and discipline. I say fuck you Seargent Robert Torres!
I have been married 12 years to a Marine. He has been deployed for long periods of time. He has always stayed in constant contact while he is deployed. He is the love of my life and I am his. We consider ourselves lucky and blessed to have found each other and I understand others are not in a similiar situation and understand their frustrations. Cheating, I dont think this has to do with anything with being a MARINE, Its about your convictions, what you believe to be right,moral. We both believe the right thing to do is to end the marriage instead of whoring around. Whats the point? If that were to occur in our marriage I know both of us would be in the hospital. LOL We would beat the crap out of the spouse and the lover. I have seen wonderful people go completely insane after finding their spouse with another. Its very sad. I am close to my inlaws and cannot and would not HURT them by cheating on my husband. Its disrepectful to them, my children and myself. My parents would be devastated if they found out I cheated on my husband while he is in Iraq. There is no excuse. My sister’s husband is a doctor and the amount of infedility that goes on there rivals that of the Marine Corps. People are having problems in their marriage so they turn to others. Believe me if you get the wrong two people together it can be HELL on earth. Also I do think age is a factor and who they hang around with. Surround yourself with moral, uplifting , supportive people.
The one thing EVERYONE has seemed to have left out is that being faithful is what yo do when you respect Yourself. I am married to a Marine. We are both faithful and have the same mindset. Marines get a bad rap because as a statistic its easier to come to a conclusion with a smaller group ie; THE FEW. There are less of them therefore a smaller number to base a judgement on. Yes our Marines have women of allllll ages throwing themselves at them, offering anything and everything. Both my Husband and I were married before and out of two husbands the PASTOR was the unfaithful one. And no, my husbands marriage didnt end because either of them cheated. I have proof of that stright from his ex whom I know and is very sweet. it was a mutual “married too young” thing.
My husband My Marine, whom has served our country for 14 years now and going strong is faithful to me because he has self respect. The desire to derive pleasure from another person including EMOTIONAL is a choice and not something someone just wakes up one day thinking “HMMM I think I will Cheat on my spouse” It is a process which if left to its own devices will become cheating.
My husband and I refuse to entertain friendships from the opposite sex. Usually society calls this immature or jealous but we are all instilled with a natural desire to protect the ones we love thats what this feeling is. Not the crazy controlling nature that is mistaken for it.
EVERYTHING in nature has a natural progression, everything. Therefore a relationship between a man and woman also has this progression wether a one night stand or long on going relationship it will culminate into something eventually.
And I will say it again cheating is simply a lack of self respect. Psychologically it is a need to find your worth in another person.
I need some help PLEASE…
My boyfriend is at PENT he’s only been there for about 2 1/2 months.He’s started drinking WAYYYY to much even his family has come to see it.So he told us he’s going to slow down..He bought a fucking x-box 360 and is on that damn thing 24/7.He says it’s the only thing that helps him thru the day..(he hates cali.)So wev’e started fighting alot(because he is on that damn thing all day long and never talks to me and I feel like were falling apart) and he said something about breaking up…Well we talked things out and he told me later that he wasnt really gonna go thru with breaking up with me he just wanted to get a rise outta me?I love him and I think he’s purposing to me in december he’s a bad lair so I got it out of him.lol But Im kinda scared to do this being only 19 and still in college…I don’t want to move to fast and ruin my relationship with him.Because I believe he is my life partner..Wev’e been together for 3 years now and I miss him and wanna be there but im trying to keep a leveled head!!!! Can someone please help me
Ladies and Gents,
I realize we are talking about the marines here, but speaking from personal experience, as a very soon to be ex wife, dare I say it, a navy man, its tough being any kind of a military wife. I married young at the age of 20, and I knew full well what I was getting myself into, being active duty at the time myself. Faithful is a good mindset, both my husband and I had that, and that we were always, but yet we still drifted apart from one another. To the point that we are now, we’ve been seperated from 2 yrs and are now going through a divorce. At one point we were very much in love, and have 3 children to prove that. I can not sit here and tell you I regret my time with my husband. But I can tell you I wish we’d waited until we were a bit older before we married, and had children. But, thus we were both young and very stubborn and did as our parents said not to always. The military lifestyle however eventually tore the two of us apart, my husband let it make him into someone he wasn’t before, and that was a big part of our drift. I saw that, and I lost the man I loved with all of my heart. I built my life around the life he wanted to retirement and suddenly I had to uproot my 3 children and move back to my home town in WV and find my own place in the world again, but alone. So you see, divorce rate in the military alone, no matter what branch, has a lot of deciding factors, could be cheating, drinking, and yes even faithfullness drifts people apart. My best advice to the lady who posted before me, take it slow honey, if I could go back to 19, I’d gotten my education first, told him if he loves me this much he can do his time and he can wait it out with his heart and his mind. Funny thing about love, true honest love has this thing about lasting through time and space. God bless and Good luck to you all. This is a tough journey, and divorce is hard on anyone.
I feel like somebody just slapped me right now. I’m 18 dating a Marine who’s 19. We’re high school sweethearts. We’re not even close to marriage but we’ve talked about it. We both consider it a possibility in the future. He’s my best friend, not my partner in crime in building some damn pickett fence. These comments however are nothing like I have ever seen. I’m honestly considering calling up my boyfriend right the heck now and telling him I never want to speak to him again! When he was in MCT we had problems because he’d gone out drinking..but he’d never even been drunk before..and he’s been in numerous long term relationships in which he never cheated.. And I can’t even think of something he’d lie to me ABOUT. We talk every day for a least an hour and discuss what I thought was just about every problem we’ve ever had. SO TELL ME! – Are you all just that bitter or is there some huge secret life of Marines that I don’t know about? ARE WE ALL HONESTLY DOOMED? Am I really just some dumb young girl who loves an lying alcholic cheater megalomanic with an ego on steroids? Thanks in advance for the truth.
Rachel…
Your not doomed yet… Just take things slow and keep a good sense of reality.
More than likely the person you date at 18 will not be the person you marry at 25
Keep your standards and communicate your wants and needs to each other. You may marry him.. but dont make that you main focus.. what things do you want to do with your life.. you have to be a whole person before you even join with him. We all make mistakes at 18-19 yrs old.. but whats important is the lesson learned and that we dont repeat that mistake. Your boyfried will be exposed to lots of things that he never was at home.. temptations/stress/adventures that will shape the man he will become later.
Ok I need some advice. I have just recently started to correspond with a Marine who is currently stationed in Iraq.Our contact has only been limited to emails so far and we have not met yet. He wont be back state side until June which then we have made tentative plans to hang out. Everything is very preliminary right now. We are pen pals and write back and forth just getting to know each other. He does seem like a cool mature indiviual but Im just taking it one step at a time for now. Im new to this Military stuff and Im educating myself on it to beter understand it. Hes 32 and Im 33 educated, make my own money, live on my own, and independent. Im not looking to “hook up” with a Marine for money for prestige or any of that shit. Im into the person inside. Well ok Ill be honest the uniforms are hot! After reading a lot of these posts its a damn crying shame what a lot of these woman and men have been through. You would think the term Semper Fi meant something but appartently it doesnt to a lot these men and woman.
Any advice on possibly dating a Marine? Gosh Im reading horror stories here and its making me a bit nervous to tell you the truth. Any advice would be greatly appretiated. Anything I should look out for? Red Flag? Warning Signs? Any feedback would be great. I want to hear advice from peple who have been there and done that. How difficult is it to talk on the phone when your in Iraq? Is it possible or is email more feasible? Thanks everyone
Hello there. Im corresponding with a Marine who is currently in Iraq. We are penpals and are just writing back and forth getting to know each other etc. We have not met in person nor have we talked on the phone yet. He is due back state side in June were we have tentative plans to meet and go out. He seems interested in me and vise versa so I am educating myself on the Marines, the lifestyle, reading blogs, etc. Im new to this whole scene so I want to read as much as possible and educate myself before I get into this any further. He is 32 and Im 33. Im self sufficant, independent, make my own money, educated, and live on my own. Im not looking to “hook up” with a Marine for the prestige but rather am interested in the person inside as you would in any healthy relationship.
My plan is to take this slow and easy and like I mentioned before we just started to correspond so its early. Is it difficult to talk on the phone when your out in the sandbox? I was just curious about that. I would appreciate any feedback on possibly dating a Marine like what to look out for, redflags or things I should ask him. I would appreciate hearing from some of the more experienced people on this blog.
Thanks a bunch
I AM 18 AND AND I AM IN LOVE WITH A MARINE…..I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED HIM! I BECAME HIS GIRLFRIEND IN HIGHSCHOOL AND EVER SICE THEN I CANT LIVE WITH OUT HIM! THIS HAS BEN REALLY HARD FOR BOTH OF US! I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN FAITHFUL AND I AM GUESSING HE HAS TOO! BUT I HEAR ALL THESE THINGSS FROM YOU GUYS SAYING THAT MARINES ARE ALL THE SASME THEY ALL CHEAT AND IT HURTS CUZ IF IT IS TRUE THEN MY BOYFRIEND HAS BEEN CHEATING ON ME!…I WANT TO MARRY HIM AND WE WILL EVENTUALLY BUT HE KEEPS SAYIN HOW HARD IT ITS TO BE MARRIED TO A MARINE! I KNOW IT WILL BE HARD BUT I LOVE HIM AND I AM WILLING TO DO WHATEVER AS LONG AS I AM WITH HIM! WHAT I AM ASKING FOR IS ALITTLE HELP…….DO I NOT KNOW WHAT I AM GETTING MY SELF INTO??WILL I REGRET MARRYING HIM HELP ME…….
LOVE ALWAYS LOVE!
To the 33 year old corresponding with a marine. Stay away…he will capture your heart and treat you like no one ever has before – and then break it. There is too much baggage involved. Take it from me – a 34 year old highly educated and independent woman
Ok I’m gonna post this because I have no idea what to do. Me and my husband have been together for six years, joined the marine corps 4 years into it. We got married after he got back from his MOS school in March 2006. Didn’t get housing until June and then he left for a year long deployment in January. Everything was good and then right before Thanksgiving he calls saying he just doesn’t love me anymore and wants a divorce. It just doesn’t seem right. I’m heartbroken and don’t know what to do. Can he divorce me while he is over there? He has a drinking problem too, can they drink over there? And could I make him go to counseling? Any advice would help.
Can he divorce me while he is over there? Yes, but it’s sure harder without your cooperation.
He has a drinking problem too, can they drink over there? Beats me. I would think that when you’re not on duty, you’re free to do what you want to do.
And could I make him go to counseling? No.
I just wanted to post a message of hope and love to all those out there struggling with there marriage or relationship.
Things may seem bad now.. but if GOD put that relationship together and you keep him in the relationship.. it will all be better in the end.
If the good outweighs the bad … keep trying..
if the bad outweighs the good.. figure out your part in the bad and fix it.
cant promise this will save any relationship..but anything worth having is worth fighting for.
Dear Marine Wife/s,
I am not yet a spouse but may become one. I am just looking for somewhere to turn and for some serious, solid advice. I am a 34 year old, highly educated woman living and working in NYC. I have a lot of good family and friends here and have lived a life that is very different from a military life. I fell in love with a Marine Corps officer (major) and he just got back from deployment in Afghanistan. I have to say, I am terrified about the life of a military wife – moving around so much, having him be gone all the time. Can someone please tell me what it will really be like to be married to an officer in the marine corps? I know he wants to become a battalion commander. On top of everything else, he is a horrible communicator and keeps everything inside. He had two tours in Iraq on top of the last tour he just came back from. I am just so lost and confused and really need some honest advice. I need to know if I can even consider living this life. I feel like I have been living in denial about it for a long time but I love him so it’s hard not to. Thanks
My husband has been in the marines for 22 years, although we’ve only been married for 8. He is a Master Sergeant, and out of his 22 years in the Marines, he’s been deployed for a total of 13 of those years. Every other year for 9-10 months, then stationed in Australia, and Japan. For those of you looking to get involved with a Marine, here’s what I’ve learned these past 8 years.
My number one gripe with the Marine Corps is that I feel they promote drinking. They have signs up all over base saying “don’t drink and drive”, and they have safety briefings and pass out cards for free taxi rides home if you get wasted, but they promote it. I’ve been to squadrom BBQ’s at 10am, and the coolers are already full of beer and everyone is drinking. They go to the clubs after work and drink. The SgtMaj has a mini fridge in his offie full of beer. If you are late for the meeting, or if your cell phone rings during the meeting, you owe a 6pack. They cannot drink while on ship, if they are deployed. That’s what liberty is for. Although they do make them wear bracelets that limit their beers to 2. I forget the name for it, (Hash run?) but it’s a race combined with drinking. They divide up into teams, race from point a to point B, everyone slams a beer, then race to point C, slam a beer, and so on. First one back wins. Then comes the 18 yr old guys. They can’t legally drink. What happens when they turn 21 and want to fit in with the crowd? They start drinking. I hate going to Marine Corps Balls because then I get to watch my husband and all his friends get smashed. If someone in their squad dies, they toast him and drink a beer, and pour his beer out. The Marine Corps and drinking are almost the same thing. My husband has been in Iraq several times, but only twice since we’ve been married. War screws them up, I don’t care what anyone says. The first time my husband came back, in 2004, he sayed out in the garage every night and drank at least 24 beers each night. We fought all the time. I left him once, he begged to stay, I took him back. He’s now retired, been out almost a year. Since he left that environment, he has been able to stop drinking. I’ve met only one other Marine who didn’t drink. He was an officer, pretty high up. He came to the house once and my husband offered him a beer, he said he didn’t drink, and that was the end of it. I believe the only thing that saved him was his rank. Nobody can peer pressure you into drinking if you out rank them. Hooray for his man for upholding his values all these years in the Marine Corps. He’s truly one of the few. I used to tell my husband that if he got killed because he would drive home drunk after work, that I’d be the biggest whistle blower the Marine Corps ever had. I’d let everyone know how they promote drinking. I hated it. I’m glad he’s out.
To the women who feel they’re husbands have cheated, you’re probably right. They may not have had sex with another woman, but they do turn into completely different men while deployed. My husband has been pretty honest with me, he’s been to strip clubs in almost every country he’s been in, he’s been to massage parlors, where they do not do normal massages. He said one time him and his buddy were in Singapore and found a massage parlor, and his buddy went in, and was disappointed when all he got was an actual back massage! He was looking for something more sexual. I think when they are deployed, they look for whatever they can find to take their mind off what they are there for. That’s no excuse, but I think they see it as their golden ticket out. My husband says there is a saying, “what happens on deployment stays on deployment.” And I believe that. Porn videos are swapped all the time, pictures of naked women are everywhere! The F word is used like it’s common everyday language. And it is, to a Marine! They have posters in the office that say “How about a nice cup of shut the F*#*# UP!” And they have it printed on coffee mugs.
In short, I believe the Marine Corps is a rated R environment. And I’m not talking about the violence and bloody things that happen during war. I’m talking about everyday business-as-usual events. It’s hard for them to be surrounded by that stuff everyday, then come home and go back to being rated G because of the kids. My husband is used to bossing people around at work. He tells them to jump, and they start jumping until he says stop. He tells me to jump, and I say I don’t think so! They don’t question an order, they just do it. I don’t enjoy being bossed around. My husband never had to say please or thank you at work. I expect him to say please when he asks me to do something. It’s just common courtesy.
It’s hard to be married to a Marine. Or any service member, I’m sure. But it can work. Not if you are a clingy, subservant woman. If you are strong and independent, you can make it work. You will be alone, there is no doubt about that. Your Marine may be deployed for only 6 months, but he’s gone for almost the entire 6 months before he leaves the states. They do exercises, and they’re gone for 6 weeks here, 2 weeks there, a month at sea, in the desert for a month, they have to train and practice going to war before they actually go to war. Get used to sleeping alone. Get used to him not telling you what’s going on or where he is. The less you know, the safer you are. Loose lips sink ships. If you don’t know what they are planning to do, then you can’t ever slip up and tell it to someone else. They don’t talk about what they’ve been doing, and they certainly don’t talk about what they’re feeling. Especially after they come back from war. There’s a reason why the divorce rate is so high. Your marine gets deployed, you miss him when he leaves. After a few weeks, you adjust. A month later, you find your own routine, you start liking the independence. You do what you want, when you want. You can raise the kids how you want. He has no say in anything you do, because he’s on the other side of the world. A few months later, he comes back. He starts wanting to take charge of the house, but you and the kids have been doing just fine these 8 months without him, you don’t need him to tell you what to do!!! And so the end of your marriage begins. It’s hard when they leave, and in some ways it’s even harder then they return.
Well, there is your honest opinion about being married to a Marine. It’s hard, but it is do-able. Good luck!
My husband and I have been married for 7 months, we have been dating for a year and a half. When we got married May of 2007 things were really great and we were so in love. We had elloped in Las Vegas and agreed to not tell either of our families. My husband had this great idea to get married so we could save some money and plan a real wedding for our families in 2 yrs when he gets out of the Marines. Unfortunately for me he lives 4.5 hrs away from me so we were only able to see each other on the weekends. To top things off he has a 4 yr old son with an ex girlfriend. By August my family found out about our marriage and he refused to speak to my parents. He told me he did not want to deal with the drama and he left me for 2 1/2 months. During these 2 months he would not see me or speak to me. I would get a phone call maybe once a week. Being the understanding woman that i am i gave him his space in hopes he would grow up and face my family. By October we were back together and trying to work things out. In November i found out he had been cheating on me. He denied everything. I let it go but it still really bothered me. I had heard from more people that he was still cheating on me with the same girl. He finally said ok I slept with her once but i stopped talking to u and i stopped seeing her. He said it was over between them. My husband was suppose to leave for Iraq on a Saturday so I went to see him off. He told me my best friend on base wants to drive me to the airport so he told me to go ahead and drive home. I said ok if that’s what you want. I was two hours into my drive when he text me saying his fleight was delayed until the following day. I offered to come back and stay with him until the plane left but he told me no to just go home. I was very suspicious so I emailed the girl that he has been cheating on me with and she said she saw him off at the airport and they had still been seeing each other and sleeping together. He even bought her a diamond necklace for Christmas. I was devistated. Now he is in Iraq and he called me when he got there and said I was trying to live it up before i left because that’s what my friends told me to do. I was hoping when i returned u and i could start new and i would stop seeing her. He then continued with “I’m just not sure what I want.” I then phoned his sister and told her we were married and he’s been cheating on me. Boy was he angry but he said he deserved it. Right now I’m still in shock that he could do this to me and I’m not sure what I should do.
My daughter is 21 and just married a Marine who is 22 and just entered the service in July 07. I’m concerned he wanted to get married because he is under the false assumption the housing and money will be more abundant. I also fear he believes he may not be deployed to Iraq due to being married. I once dated a young man in the Coast Guard, and I’m all too familiar with the drinking problems and hidden girlfriends.
Dear Master Sergeant’s Wife,
I just wanted to say THANK YOU for taking the time to respond to me. I really appreciate it. Of course, I have so many more questions for you but I think there might too many to blog! Thanks again 🙂
I met my husband in when I was 18 and married him when I was 19 2 days. He cheated on me all the time. Now I find out even before we were married he was running around. I made twice the money he did. When we were going together he borrowed money from me. He went to Vietnam in 1964 and I was expecting a baby. He was on his R@R in Japan when he got word from the Red Cross, that I had given birth. I lived off base and didn’t know anything about the Corps. He left me with a 1964 Karman Ghia. I rec. 137.10 a month and got 35 dollars a week un-employment. I had a 90.00 rent and paid the Ghia payment and car ins. He never sent one penny more. Thank God, my sister fed me lunch and dinner every day except the weekends. I managed to buy my baby somethings each week. I even paid for a baby bed. He would tell me he was going to send me some money, but the next letter he would say he ran short. While he was in Japan, he got tailored suits, shirts, jackets and bought motorcycle and wood carving and Tapestrys. You name it he had it.
He came home and I picked him up at the airport and that was the first time he held his baby. She was almost 8 months old.
We went to his next duty station and he was never home and when our baby was 16 months old we separated. We had no money and I had left my job to be a mommy. I thought we were in debt. I went home to mom and dad and 1 month later he called to say he was going to school in Memphis for a month. He met a girl there and he brought her and her son back to our apt. I let him know before he went to Memphis that I thought I was pregnant. Well, I called to the apt to tell him and his girlfriend ans the phone. She told me they were in love. 2 months later I lost the twins and all he said was, I would send you flowers but they cost too much.
He came to see me about 7 weeks later and we decided to go back together. He was such a liar that he didn’t tell me he was still with her. He got back to his apt and she and him moved out to another apt and stole most of everything he brought back from Japan. He took camera, projectors, well everything that was worth money.
I don’t know to this day why I let him run me off. I should have gone to his co or got CID to get involved. Well anyway I wrote his co and started getting 137.10 again. I would not see him again until my daughter was 4 yrs 8 months. In 1967 he went back to Vietnam and his family called me and ask if I had seen him or did he come to see his baby. No, I got a package from Japan with thing for our baby. He had not sent a gift for Christmas or her birthday in 2 years. I went and spent time with his family and then decided they were all just smoke and mirrors. They protected him. His girl friend had gone to Calif. and had all my things he had stolen and his new car. He sold, his boat, motorcycle, Ghia and I got nothing. He even met her in Hawaii on his R@R in Sept of 68. His sisters son got killed that same week in a construction accident and he got word from the Red Cross. He could not call home even though he was in the states, because he was suppose to be in Vietnam not Hawaii. He knew I would find out. Well I left and went to DC to work and bought all new furniture and worked 2 jobs using Public transportation. His girlfriend had his new car in Calif. Well, when he came back from Vietnam, Suprise,Surprise. She had gotten Married and used him up till the last minute.
She stole everything and burned his car. That was April 69. I had started dating after 2 years of no man in my life. I met a Major in the Marines and dated him for 2 months and found out that sorry thing was married and ended that quick.
My husband had nothing. He bought a 69 VW Bug and was painting houses to make money cause his girlfriend had him in debt with credit cards.(KARMA)
I went back with him in Nov 69 and he used me again. All he had was 2 suitcase of cloths and duffle bag. A watch, and a wedding set. He had a old truck he was using for painting. He started the same stuff again. Well 6 month later I was pg. In Jan 71 I had a son. He could not be found. He was with a girlfriend he was using to keep him supplies in Alchol..He has regreted that all my sons life.
Today, he is 69 yrs old and sick, 3 strokes, broken hip, alcholic, and more. Now he loves me has for the past 20 years. Every thing sexual went south. Now I am a nurse.
Everyone that see’s us together say I look 20 years younger than him. I can tell you and be truthful, I have never cheated on him. I did date the Major, but it was time I had the touch of a man. So He did reap what he sowed. Sometimes I look at him and he makes me sick! He told me one day, You know that cute little Marine, that Bastard is dead. So, I am 65 today and wish I had gotten out of it when I was young, but I guess I was stupid. Don’t stay in it. I have all I want today because, I worked 34 years and invested well. I could have done better if I had never gone back with him.. My children love me and show their dad respect. They know the whole story and I have told you very little. One day you might see this story on the Lifetime Channel??